The Enemy is Within

“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” ~ Matthew 5:44

This is one of those challenging statements that Jesus places before us. Some people like Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and others lived this out so I know it is possible. This Lent I have been praying for my “enemies” and I have noticed a softening. The Spirit is a’ moving!

Today though I could not help but feel a deep sadness when visiting a friend at a hospice. As we chatted, I could see when there were moments of clarity and when there were moments of confusion. What do you do when the enemy is yourself? I realize she was not totally of aware of her confusion but still when she was I could see the emotional pain. I carefully steered her away from minefields, handed her a tissue when tears came, changed the topic and brought back a smile to her face, and responded to the same concerns a few times knowing full well that she had no recollection of having the conversation a few moments earlier.

I smiled as she introduced me to the worker as “an old friend” but nodded because we have known each other half of my life. I met her 25 years ago. When she named the former spouses of her children as current, I gently inserted the correct name into my response and she did not react. When she insisted that her daughter and first husband had moved into the basement suite of the hospice, I mentioned that it was wonderful that her children could spend so much time with her. When she said that no one from our parish but one of the priests had been by to visit, I pulled out the guest book and watched her forget her loneliness by reading the names of those who had been by in the six days in which she had moved into her new surroundings. I signed in so that people would let her know that I too had stopped by and left her watching the men’s curling game.

What will aging look like for me? Will I be like Gram who had her mind clear but her body limited or more like her siblings who for the most part were confused like my old friend? I watch my parents struggle with so many aches and pains and know that the potential for the enemy being within is strong. As the Gospel reading continues, we learn that God makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good. How you live your life is not a guarantee that the end days will be easy. My friend served the church for most of her life. I brought her the Eucharist this afternoon and her eyes lit up when I asked if she would like to receive it. She even read the parts in the book that I should have read, and I let her, smiling in her enthusiasm. In her struggles, she still has an anchor. As the psalmist sings, “Happy are those who seek God with their whole heart.”

Peace,

Suzanne