Life is Hard?

“When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"” ~ Sydney J. Harris

Some days I can get whiny. I am sure you can too. I hate being Eeyore or Puddleglum. I am so much happier when I think life is grand. The sky was grey today and I had 20 errands to run. I am looking at my to-do list and seeing I made it through about 14 of them. Not too shabby! No wonder I am tired though.

How do people in the South keep up their optimism? They face such extraordinary challenges and yet carry on. I did not have a bad day today but I think the weariness and hectic-ness of life has caught up with me.

Just call me whiny tonight. Sorry!

Peace,

Suzanne

What is Truth?

"You can't handle the truth!" ~ from A Few Good Men

Can we handle the truth? I have been wondering this question for a couple of weeks now. I have friend who told me a half truth recently and when I challenged him on it, he hedged but finally acknowledged it. I think it has seriously damaged our friendship. The assumption was, of course, that I could not handle the truth and that lack of trust in our relationship has undermined it.

I watched the local theatre company perform A Few Good Men last night in a brilliant and polished performance. To me, the most striking element of the play was when one of the accused finally gets the fact that he failed to protect someone in need and therefore should have been dishonourably discharged. Sometimes we do not know when we are lied to or when we lie to others but more often than not, a little light eventually goes on. Those would be moments of a self-righteousness that should disturb us into our own truth, let alone the truth for others.

We all have our deal-breakers and lying happens to be one for me. Do you ever presume that someone can't handle the truth and somehow believe that a lie is more acceptable?

Peace,

Suzanne

Sitting by the Road

"If our faith sits by the roadside, looking blindly inward, it lacks the intentionality of discipleship. Faith that enthusiastically gets up in response to Jesus' call restores both us and the community." ~ Louise McEwan

Bartimaeus sits at the roadside, calling out to Jesus to have mercy on him. Those around him shush him until Jesus himself asks that he come forward. Then the crowd changes their tune and encourages Bartimaeus to go to the Christ. He rises and throws off his cloak. When Jesus asks what he wants, Bartimaeus is clear--he wants to see again. He once had sight and somehow he lost it. I am not sure why but this is the first time I have noticed this point.

This man of faith stands as a symbol for all of us. We need to take heart that Jesus hears us crying out for mercy. We need to acknowledge the times when we are blind...again--when we need to stop and ask for God's abundant grace and mercy one more time in our lives.

I have been there lately. I have been there more than once. I look blindly inward and I forget the call to look outward to a community in need. Yesterday during the presentation for "Celebrating Our Journey Together" I laid out an argument of how we need to follow Christ in service. Our world needs us to be the hands and feet of Christ. We need to discover a faith that gets up and throws off what weighs us down in order to enthusiastically find our way to Jesus.

I had some fears about standing up and sharing my life journey with people yesterday. As I stirred those fears, I realized that I wanted something bigger to unfold for people listening and for myself. I wanted to inspire people and to plant seeds of hope. I think I did that. I wanted to remove blinders from people about situations like Tanya Nepinak and Amanda Todd--females who society let down. I pray that God will use me more, that I may call out to Jesus, and that when I am called on, that I throw off everything that would hold me back, and run to the Voice that beckons.

How about you--are you content to sit by the roadside or will you run to Christ?

Peace,

Suzanne

Tender Shoots of Hope

"A new Pentecost has begun, however it may not always be where we expect it to be."~ Bishop Remi De Roo over the weekend at Celebrating Our Journey Together

I have been busy preparing for a talk that I gave this morning on social justice from a personal perspective. I was part of a panel that was discussing Vatican II on its 50th anniversary. On Friday night, Bishop Remi De Roo, one of the few surviving Council Fathers, spoke to the packed church about his musings on the documents of Vatican II. I felt such hope at the end of his talk. This 88-year-old bishop said many things that inspired me. He stated that the documents gathered the agreement from almost all the bishops gathered and that the issues presented were faced unafraid. There were sharp exchanges at times but primarily as the Council unfolded there was peace and serenity.

One of the statements he made that remains with me is that conversion does not come from information that one receives with the head; unity comes from the heart. I have this vision now of all these bishops--over 2,000--gathering to discuss the documents and for the first time, rather than thinking, feeling the Spirit move amongst them.

He spoke of tending the tender shoots sprouting up still after 50 years and this image resonates anew for me. I think the Spirit of Pentecost was blowing upon the sessions this weekend. The two young people joining me on the panel today rocked! I have such hope in what lies ahead when I know that the Church has people like them involved.

For my own part, I believed that saying yes to this invitation to speak was perhaps something bigger. I have wanted to serve God for as long as I can remember. This weekend helped me to see once again that the Spirit blesses the works of our hands when we say yes. It was an honour and privilege to share my story with those gathered. I have been asked to do two follow up talks and that excites me. I think God is throwing open doors and I am happy to tend the shoots of hope.

What is God calling you to these days?

Peace,

Suzanne

A Power and a Magic

“Travel brings power and love back into your life.” ~ Rumi

I have had a few busy nights, trying to prepare for an upcoming event on Saturday morning. Tonight I took a bit of a break from everything and met with two teachers to talk about DR Congo and a project that their MET class is pulling together over the next school year. It turns out that the teacher I did not know has more wanderlust than I do. She had been to similar places as I had and so many more. That was pretty cool.

I think for those of us who travel incessantly that there is a power and magic in the journey that entices us to come back. My soul is often freed to live the moment and breathe in its goodness. It was nice to travel back in memory to beloved places tonight, and feel the spirits of those amazing souls that I met. They will forever have a place in my heart.

What travel memory brings you great joy?

Peace,

Suzanne

Ambition or Service?

"Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." ~ Hebrews 4: 16

I am grateful for a Saviour who gets it...who comprehends my struggles and my weaknesses because He has been there too. I can approach the throne of grace with boldness, asking for forgiveness and mercy for those times when I have been less than what I have been created to be. I can find grace for the moments when I am confused and overwhelmed. The second reading speaks words of comfort to me today.

Today is also Mission Sunday, a calling close to my heart. The Gospel reminds us that we are called to serve--the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve. What a beautiful description and if we are to call ourselves followers of Christ, should we not also desire this? Ambition is such a craving in our world today, but Christ makes it clear. He will not hold the thrones on his left and right for us. He expects us to not seek power but to serve with joy so that others may find life. We can be led astray even with good intentions. Power is a subtle seducer. Ambition may land us in a place we had no desire to be.

What do you seek--power or humility?

Peace,

Suzanne

Handing Out Daily Bread

"Make us worthy, Lord, to serve those people throughout the world who live and die in poverty and hunger. Give them through our hands, this day, their daily bread, and by our understanding love, give them peace and joy." ~ Mother Teresa

I spent the day cooking for a youth retreat. I am now finishing up two weeks worth of laundry late at night. I want to serve You, Lord, but at the same time, I need to get control of my life so I can do so with peace and joy.

I am pretty tired right now. What I appreciate though as I soon head to bed and reflect on my day, is the gratitude that the students had for me today and the little service I did for them. All over the world people need other people. We need to give daily bread in whatever way we can--to help sustain life for our brothers and sisters around the world. Sometimes we just don't realize how little it takes to provide that loaf of bread.

When was the last time you served some one in need?

Peace,

Suzanne

Gem-Filled Hands

"Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands." ~ Japanese Proverb

I have thought of myself as a life-long learner for some time now. When I come out of a jewel mine, not only are my hands full, but so are my pockets. I love to let life teach me lessons--most of the time. Of course, the more challenging ones usually are where the most gain is.

Last night and all day today I have been involved in professional development for interpreters. I have hosted and planned both events. Each had its own richness and rewards for those who entered the mine of learning. As I read the evaluations, I was pleased to see that most people came out with handfuls of jewels. Only one or two emerged seemingly empty-handed.

What about you? How do you emerge from life--hands full of gems or empty?

Peace,

Suzanne

Sing Your Song

I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung. ~Tagore

Today was the first of several Wednesdays off. I had a fabulous day! I got a bit of a cleaning spurt early in the day, washing window ledges and one window that had been driving me crazy. I had a good appointment with the physiotherapist. I ran a bunch of errands that I had been putting off. The spiritual directors had an excellent meeting. I them came home and practiced "singing" my song. I am putting together photobooks and at some point, I hope to churn one out that has not only my photos in it, but also, my writings.

What song are you supposed to be singing right now?

Peace,

Suzanne

Following Footsteps

“I leave all to Divine Providence, my confidence is in it; all will happen which is pleasing to God.”

Today is the Feast Day of St. Marguerite d'Youville, the first Canadian-born saint. I know her because my aunt has followed in her footsteps, as a Grey Nun. I have had many opportunities to see the life and vision that St. Marguerite modeled by the women who have made vows to be Grey Nuns.

In a couple of weeks, I will be making a presentation on Vatican II and social justice at an archdiocesan event. Many people think that Catholics do not do social justice well. I disagree and beyond that, I believe we have many models throughout history to say that not only do we do it very well, we have changed the infrastructure of our cities and our country because of the schools and hospitals that religious sisters have created. St. Marguerite's commitment to the poor was phenomenal. We still need role models like that in our lives.

Her simple faith and trust in Divine Providence has long inspired me. I often find myself saying to God, "I give it all to You, take care of it as You will." On crazy busy days that threaten to overwhelm me, I pray "God, take care of the details of this day" and then I move on, knowing God has it and I don't need to worry about it. Like St. Marguerite, I believe all that happens is pleasing to God and so my trust is in that.

In what or who do you place your confidence?

Peace,

Suzanne

All Good Things Came

"Teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart." ~ Psalm 90

Today's readings are beautiful and challenging at the same time. The first reading is from Wisdom where the author calls on God and the spirit of Wisdom comes and he falls in love with her. He says that "all good things came to me along with her." When we rely on God, we are blessed beyond our imaginings.

Psalm 90 is a favourite: Satisfy me in the morning with your steadfast love so that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Oh to be satisfied every morning and not to long for anything! Let the favour of the Lord our God be upon us and prosper for us the work of our hands. Every morning I pray this prayer: I offer You all my works, prayers, joys and sufferings of this day, O Lord. May they all be according to Your holy will and for Your greater glory. God has given everything to me and I long to return it all back, tenfold if possible, for the greater good.

Lately I have been struck by how many opportunities are coming my way to do good. This morning I received a phone call from some women who asked if I would sit on a board that is being created. I am excited about who is asking and what is being asked. As busy as I seem right now, I keep saying yes to some of the awesome situations that appear. I find there is a steady flow of good things happening in my life right now and am grateful for that.

In the Gospel today, the rich young man goes away grieving because he has many possessions. Instead of thinking about his material wealth, I am struck today by how many gifts I have been given and how I must use them when the chance arises. Many good things come with Wisdom. May I keep my eyes on her and my heart attentive to her voice.

What good thing has come to you lately?

Peace,

Suzanne

Powerful Beliefs

"Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives." ~ Tony Robbins

An interesting turn of events happened at the prison tonight. I was chatting with a former lifer who was back inside and he casually asked me if I had ever done a sweat. I mentioned I had but that I was wary of doing them without knowing who was leading them because of the power of the spirituality that can occur within them. I then went on to share an experience that my friend who is from the bear clan had which entailed some people seeing a bear behind her with paws on her shoulders. She had said it was a weight. He asked me if it hurt her and I said no, it just weighed her down.

I then mentioned that I had the opposite experience, where I felt like I was floating on occasion and did not feel the heat too much. In fact, sometimes I felt like I was being fanned. He looked at me and said that was because I was good inside and was not in need of healing. I was kind of startled by that revelation and at the risk of being misunderstood, the information rang true for me. Of course, I believe we are all in need of healing and at that moment I was in need of healing but instead was used as a healing force for others. He had a few other powerful insights for me that I will have to ponder for awhile before integrating them but it was very interesting for me. Most of the time when I go to prison, I feel as if I have received more than I have given but tonight, I think I was healed on a deep level and received an answer that I had been looking for...from a man who others would see as broken and not able to be of service. Yet he was a source of healing to me and has given me something that won't literally save my life but will have a profound effect on it.

Peace,

Suzanne

Making A Difference

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ~ Dalai Lama

Lately I have been thinking about using my gifts in new ways. I sometimes get intimidated by the callings in my life. I really get the fear that most of the biblical characters had--surely not me, Lord! One of the things I love about my God is the great sense of humour that is such a part of our relationship. Yes, you, my dear! Who else?

Sigh...that is what I thought. Love you too!

When was the last time you thought you were too small or inadequate to do the job?

peace,

Suzanne

Zenned Out

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” Etty Hillesum

Last night after work a group of us gathered to celebrate our friend's 50th birthday at an upscale spa for a warm mud party. The day had been awesome on several fronts. I had had an early morning physiotherapy appointment that went very well. I gave a student on my case load some great news that got her incredibly excited. Then I waltzed into the spa ready to relax, breathe, and laugh.

I love this particular spa and its treatments. I was not disappointed. The photo is from a great spa in Bali. It turns out I have a lot of spa experience compared to some people. I guess I have learned the benefit of resting between two breaths better than most.

A couple of cool things happened. Someone asked if I was going to take my make-up off before going into the spa. When I replied I was not wearing any, she was shocked to find out that my eyelashes were 100% mine and not enhanced. Later, as we zenned out in the quiet room (though we were not so quiet) I asked the birthday girl some questions. Everyone thought I should become an interviewer on CBC, like Jian Ghomeshi on Q. I thought that might be kind of interesting. I love asking people questions but Jian is so skilled at it, I can't imagine doing it. Somebody else recently said I should have a radio show.

Anyway, I am back at the same spa in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I am going to practice resting between breaths.

Peace,

Suzanne

Delighting the Human Spirit

‎"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit." ~ e.e. cummings

Do you have someone who believes in you? I mean really believes in you--in all that you can do, and all the potential you have? If you do, count your blessings because not everyone does.

Hopefully you will have had enough people who believe in you that you believe in yourself. I am lucky to have people who have helped me believe in myself, who have helped me know that I am worthy, I am valuable, I am good, I am sacred. This has allowed me to risk and to wonder and to delight.

Today I went to a workshop that focused on helping traumatized learners. Schools can be guilty of re-traumatizing children. I loved this perspective:

Instead of asking what is wrong with this student, ask what has happened to this student? It will make a world of difference. We should practice that often.

Peace,

Suzanne

Happily Giving Thanks

"With gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God through him." ~ Colossians 3:16-17

Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and I have been blessed with the opportunity to house sit a retreat centre. I have had access to the chapel here and have been nearby water, two things that restore my soul. In the morning when I woke up, I would go to the deck in my night gown and down-filled vest and breathe in the coolness and greet the sun and the geese with gratitude. It has been a good way to start my days. I always grieve the departure of summer but I think I was able to embrace autumn this weekend.

I have lots for which to be grateful. I have had time this weekend to count my blessings. I was listening to a song by Jim Croegaert yesterday called Blessing. The lyrics in part are:

May goodness ever surround you
May grace keep its arms around you
May God, rich in mercy,
Grant that you'll be
Filled with all the love
Your heart can hold
Until these roads
Bring us together

I have reviewed some of the gratitude gathered this summer, travelling roads once again where goodness surrounded me, grace enfolded me, and God filled my heart with all the love it could hold.

What are the moments you are most grateful for right now?

Happy Thanksgiving! May your heart sing songs of joy for all the gifts given.

Peace,

Suzanne

Hosting Happily

"You shall eat the fruit of the labour of your hands;
you shall be happy, and it shall go well with you." ~ Psalm 128:2

I am hosting Thanksgiving supper for my family today. I am staying somewhere that allows my parents to move around without the barriers of stairs as everything here is on one level. It has been a long time since I have cooked a turkey with all the fixings and I am a little bit nervous about it so I am finding solace in today's psalm.

Today's readings are about marriage one level but so relevant today in living community. We need one another in this world that sometimes seems to spin out of control. Whether we are naming things unyet named or needing to know that someone is there to stand beside us, we need to not be alone in life. Jesus is our brother in a family that is bound together.

Jesus takes the children in his arms at the end of today's Gospel and blesses them. He will do the same for us, if we let him.

Peace,

Suzanne

Keeping Watch!

"Sometimes when God closes a door, Satan opens a window." ~ CSI show

Temptation is a funny thing. God closes a door, and we want to pry open a window. Satan stands by and smirks, offering to lend a hand.

Following God's will is not a constant for most of us. We try but we may venture down a path just a little way to see if it is indeed the wrong one, though our good discernment is screaming at us to turn back much sooner. I have been longing lately to return to a way of life that I have sauntered away from. This weekend as I house sit a retreat house, I am soaking in the opportunity to sit before the blessed sacrament and to pray. Recently I have been asked to pray with a variety of groups and am currently discerning what works.

Last night at Taize prayer, I could feel a little of the longing arise. I have said yes to two small groups and I think one will win out over the other. Other opportunities are also arising and I feel as if God is slamming shut windows and unlocking a door that is the one I should walk through.

I am grateful for this opportunity to be in a Catholic retreat centre with Jesus in the building. Tonight a friend joined me in prayer. Tomorrow family will come for supper. It is a blessing.

Peace,

Suzanne

Ever Thankful

"In the Lord, I will be ever thankful; in the Lord I will rejoice." ~ lyrics of a Taize song

It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. I am grateful for an extra day of rest and for the fact that I am at a retreat centre this weekend by myself. I am hosting supper on Sunday night and looking forward to that. I also will appreciate the opportunity to sit in front of the blessed sacrament and pray. I have a number of things I want to do this weekend. I hope to leave here a more focused person.

I was at another retreat centre earlier tonight for Taize prayer. I first heard the song we sang tonight when I visited Taize in France. I loved it then and continue to find joy in it now.

I have much to be thankful for this weekend and want to spend some time in reflecting on the gratitude I gathered this summer. This will be the perfect place to do it.

Peace,

Suzanne

Stronger

"What has been fixed is always less strong than what is whole." ~ Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal

I am reading this book at night and I am finding great wisdom in it. I have just hung up the phone from a friend whose partner of twelve years died suddenly this week. She has been a mentor to me for a long time, a symbol of how strong we can be when life shoves cruel circumstances in our faces. She has taught me about forgiveness, acceptance, and moving on as a whole person.

She is whole despite the shattered heart; she acknowledges that she is being carried by many of us who love her. She is feeling blessed. I think there is something within some of us that is not breakable, that refuses to give in to that which threatens to destroy us. She is living fully her pain and her joy, laughing with me at the wonderful memories she has and sharing the reality of what happened in the final hours. There are no words sometimes for the pain of situations like this but I also think there are no words to describe the love, courage, and awesomeness that exist too.

Peace,

Suzanne

Falling into Autumn

“All seasons have something to offer.” ~ Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle

The wake-up weather report announced snow for tomorrow. I rolled over and groaned. Wasn't I just in capris and and a short-sleeved t-shirt on the weekend? I am struggling with this prediction and the thought of snow in a few weeks.

I have to learn to embrace everything better. I cannot always be so selective. I can sometimes cling too fiercely and I need to move more fluidly in life. Every season has something to offer. Help me to recognize the good of the moment more quickly.

Peace,

Suzanne

Good For Something

"Be not simply good - be good for something." ~ Henry David Thoreau

I was reminded tonight that I do good works by a friend out on the West Coast who stated that I was always up to something good. That brought a smile to my face.

He is on Vancouver island, in a gorgeous little community that I love, and after seeing David Suzuki last night, I realized anew that there are so many places in this world that I love. Suzuki was inspiring. We are called to do good in this world, to save the earth, to think about how much we consume, to ponder how our current actions affect generations yet to come. I find that I am returning to thinking about these things lately and wanting to be much more responsible than I have been in recent years.

How about you, what does this earth mean to you, and are you helping in its destruction or allowing it space to grow for future generations?

Peace,

Suzanne