Common Good

“To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” ~ 1 Corinthians 12:7

The Feast of Pentecost is a favourite of mine. I love wind. I have wonderful memories of feeling caressed by the wind in Mombassa years ago. I remember being perched in a tree in Ohio, praying when a gentle stirring in the air made me aware of God’s presence. I believe that God is manifested in the wind via the Spirit. Oftentimes, a breeze will remind me that God is with me.

Today’s readings are a reminder of how the Breath of God should affect our lives. The first reading from Acts made me think of a conversation I had with a British friend about the Tower of Babel while we were both living in Burundi—a place where I did not always understand the language. Here everyone can comprehend each other without difficulty. The Spirit blesses them with the gift of understanding.

The second reading focuses on the variety of the gifts of the Spirit, given freely for service and to be used for the common good. Here, in this text, there are no distinctions made but rather a look at the unifying nature of the Spirit. We are one body, created to be in service to one another for the glory of God. The alternate reading lists the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We need these gifts in order to serve, to create a common good.

The gospel has Jesus appearing in the Upper Room, without a word of reproach, but rather with words that are encouraging, loving, and merciful to this group of people who deserted him: Peace be with you. Jesus follows this with a commissioning. He sends them out of their fear and back into the world to serve. Now is not the time for fear but for boldness. Fear holds us back. I connect peace with the Holy Spirit, perhaps because one of the common symbols is a white dove. Peace was given that day and this day to those who receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit in order to serve boldly and generously for the common good.

Happy Pentecost! May the Breath of God blow renewed life into you and may the gifts and fruits of the Spirit that you have been given bless those most in need.

Peace,

Suzanne

Hope for a Beauty

“Hope is the greatest of the gifts we'll receive.” ~ Belle, Beauty and the Beast

This is not the best photo but it does allow me to post it here since everyone is unrecognizable. My goddaughter was in her school musical, Beauty and the Beast, last night. The sold-out show was great fun. Of course, some of the lines from the play are hilarious but every once in awhile a serious one creeps in such as the quote here. My dear one is in her graduating year and this will be a highlight I am sure. She was flying high after the show, giddy with the success. She was one of the silly girls and as I watched her afterwards, I could not help but think it was a suitable part.

Her journey has been a long one but the successful closure of high school is in sight. With her parents and godparents in the audience to cheer her on, she shone brightly. It is a joy to have accompanied her through her many achievements. We were joking that the last time she was on that particular stage, she was five years old and dressed as a duck for her dance recital. I had been there too. She has come a long way since that yellow costume. Her hair in curls and her lips a blazing red, she looked all grown up last night. She was a beautiful young woman who had tamed her inner beasts for this event. Hope is indeed one of the greatest gifts we will receive.

Peace,

Suzanne

Tassel Hassle

"The tassel's worth the hassle!" ~Author Unknown

I went to a graduation party this afternoon. Such excitement by those who will be receiving their degree! I had also spoken to someone earlier in the day about where they were in their educational journey. The tassel is costly. I know this myself after putting in so many hours with the books. I would say the tassel is worth the hassle but some days I know that it did not feel like it.

What is worth the hassle for you?

Peace,

Suzanne

Not Knowing

“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.” ~Donald Rumsfeld

The other day a colleague and I were driving and I started talking about how I used to be a clown. She had no idea. She also did not know some other activity that I was fairly involved with at one point in my life. She was fairly surprised at the news of these two skills and remarked that she had not known I was so multi-talented.

We don’t know what we don’t know. I think that a lot in my job. The signers I work with have no idea of what they do not yet know. If they continue their training, many are mortified by what they have done in ignorance. Work has been rough lately due to this phenomenon of not knowing what we know. I was so frustrated by both staff and parents recently because they had no idea of how oppressive they were being to the Deaf student. I am tired of explaining it some days.

I know for myself as an interpreter I don’t always know that I have messed up but I often get an inkling. It could be linguistically or it could be culturally. Some untrained people think this interpreting thing is a breeze. They have no idea about a code of ethics or even how to handle themselves professionally.

I know that I don’t always know the full story either. I try not to be judgmental remembering I was there once but right now I just want it to be June 30th so that I do not have to deal with it for a bit.

Can you tell I need a break?

Peace,

Suzanne

Heart View

"Do not look at the world through your head; look at it through your heart." ~ Ketut in Eat, Love, Pray

I am in a hotel room that has free movies. I had watched Eat, Love, Pray prior to going to Bali so tonight I rented it again and fast forwarded it to the Bali part. I got glimpses of the Sacred Monkey Forest and the volcano. Ketut is a tourist attraction now in Ubud as a result of the movie. Poor guy has hours of visitors wanting to see him in a day.

This quote rings true to me. Look at the world through your heart. Ketut might have had something right there.

Peace,

Suzanne

Good Books

“It takes a long time to grow an old friend. Trust is built one single moment at a time.” ~ Nicholas Sparks, The Best of Me

Books are a delight to me. I love being absorbed by a book. Time melts into space and my mind does not multi-task. I spent a good part of this weekend reading the book from which I gleaned this quote. Sparks is a romantic but brutal because many of his stories do not have happy Hollywood endings. This was no exception. Most of his books have been turned into movies where women bawl at heartbreaking junctures in the protaganist’s lives.

I liked this quote. I have a lot of old friends and I am grateful for that. Not everyone does. The romance in this story, as in most of his books, is not for the weak of heart. The pages turn rapidly as characters weave through the story, all of them having such a different life than mine. What is love? What is friendship? What is loyalty? What is family? What is fate? What and who are our North Stars, that guide us? If one digs beneath the surface of this love story, one can find some deep questions. That is good writing to me.

Peace,

Suzanne

Eyes of Enlightenment

"Brothers and sisters: I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power." ~ Ephesians 1:17

Ascension Day here was bright and sunny, though not particularly hot. After mass, I spent the rest of the day at the beach with friends. This statue to commemorate the Vikings that arrived in my part of the world helps us to see back in time to what things might have been as they arrived on the lake. These stony eyes have seen much in the years they have been here. What does it mean, though, to see with the eyes of your heart enlightened?

What must it have been like at that moment when Jesus took his farewell, commissioning them to go into all the world and proclaim the good news to everyone? He made some pretty incredible promises about what they would be able to do: cast out demons, speak in new tongues, pick up snakes with their hands, drink deadly potions without harm, and heal the sick. Then he ascended into heaven. He vanished. Yes, somewhere else he promises to be with them for all time but didn’t Jesus just get here again and now he is gone? What's up with that? Were the disciples ready to let him go and take on the task of doing the work that lay ahead? I am sure they were devastated, or at least confused, once again, with the journey with Jesus.

The words in Ephesians are encouraging: having received a spirit of wisdom and revelation, with the eyes of the heart enlightened, you will know hope. I love that word Hope. The Spirit is a-coming next week. Get ready! We can know the working of his great power if we but see with enlightened eyes.

Peace,

Suzanne

Thinking is Believing?

"Don't believe everything you think." ~ Poster at a school the other day

I think it should be warm out. It is May. I had a manicure and pedicure today. I have pulled out my summer reading and snuggled into bed last night to read into the wee hours. I got up this morning, convinced it was warm out. I put on capris and a sleeveless top. I threw my raincoat over top. I shivered all day. Sigh. I cannot believe everything I think.

I stopped by the hospital to visit a long-time friend who has been there for over a year. She is in one of the psychiatric units there. I know there are people who reside in that institution whose thinking is pretty much messed up. I must admit all the residents were very friendly and welcoming. I think it must be a lonely place some days.

This is post 450. I think that is a milestone! I have over 4000 views from all around the world. This week someone from South Korea tuned in. Welcome!

Tomorrow friends and I are off to Gimli, a place where I spent my summers as a youth. The town and lake are still near to my heart. If I think hard enough, will my belief that tomorrow should be a warm and sunny day come true this time?

Peace,

Suzanne

What Matters Most

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.” ~ Steve Jobs

What a week work-wise! I managed to work 12 hours of overtime in four days, which is a little abnormal, but at this time of year I make my final visits to schools. I must have driven over 1,000 kilometers and flew up North for a one-day trip, working a 16-hour day. I cannot be happier that I have three days to recover from it. I am back on the road next week, probably clocking 500 kilometers. Is it June 30th yet?

The visits have all seemed stressful to me. I had a long conversation with some parents who wondered if they are making the right decision for their Deaf child. What can I tell them? I see how much love they have but still they are right on some levels—it is not enough. I know they wish they could do more but circumstances do not permit it. They are among the best parents on my caseload and my heart breaks for them.

I watched as another young man wants to drop out of school and wondered what carrot could be dangled to entice him to stay. I had a 6-hour round trip drive to attend this particular meeting and I think my presence made a difference. The only suggestion that was proposed that he agreed to was the one I made. I can only hope it works out for the best.

I witnessed one staff dissolve into tears at the difficult year she has had because she thinks the teaching staff does not respect the work she does. Her colleague at the same school also confessed to similar feelings. I wonder if I am doing enough some days. I am not sure that day I went to bed feeling like I had done something wonderful. I wish I could take away the frustration or at least reduce its intensity.

My job won’t make me rich financially but it will satisfy me because I can make a difference in the lives of students, families, and those who work with them. This week was fairly exhausting but that is exceptional. Towards the end of my very long Northern day, I received an email from a colleague who had shadowed me earlier in the week, thanking me for the opportunity and letting me know her respect for the work that I do has increased since she caught a glimpse of how complicated the task can be.

What matters to me most is that I bring an element of God’s grace to each situation. Each night as I have crawled into bed this week I reviewed my day and prayed that God may accept the good work of my hands and forgive whatever sin I have committed. That matters more to me than the financial benefits that are attached to the job.

Peace,

Suzanne

Who Loves Us?

“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.” ~ John 15:9

The Mother’s Day readings are full of the word love, either spoken or acted out. In the First Reading we see how God chooses both Jews and Gentiles alike to pour out the Holy Spirit upon. God does not have favourites. God loves everyone. The Psalm speaks of the steadfast love of the Lord and how the people make a joyful noise throughout all the earth. The Second Reading extends the invitation to love one another, because Love is from God. This reading also reminds us that God first loved us. We are the creatures, not the Creator. God loved us in the making and loves us throughout our lives. We do not have to do anything to earn that Love. God gives it freely, abundantly and graciously.

The Gospel of John encourages us to abide in God’s love by living out the commandments—love as Jesus has loved. That is a pretty daunting comparison since Jesus died for us. He asks us to lay down our lives for our friends. We are elevated to friend status—no longer servants. We have been chosen and appointed to bear much fruit.

The temptation, of course, is to throw up our hands and wail we are not the Messiah and we cannot possibly love like that. We cling to our inadequacies and fears; we hold on to the feelings of incompetence and unworthiness. We hold back rather than step forward. Interestingly enough, the Gospel holds a gem that can be overlooked: Jesus has said these things to us so that joy may be in us, and so our joy will be complete. If we hold back, if we cling to the fears, if we stay in the comfort zone, then we never know Love and we never are completely joy-filled. We have a model of Love, one that is attainable. Life may have handed you mothers (or fathers or siblings) who do not love you. Step away from those models then and turn to One that brings joy. A spouse, partner or friend may have hurt you--or maybe you have betrayed someone and hurt them. Decide anew today. Abide in the Love that sustains you.

What choice will you make today about love?

Peace,

Suzanne

Loving Service

“Take the days that remain in my life
Lord, let me serve You.” ~ Fernando Ortega, Just As I Am

I do not know where and when I got my servant’s heart from but today I wondered a few times about why I have one and why others don’t share the same passion. I like to think that we all serve in our own way but why do some of us serve more and with greater zeal? Why do we return the Love given while others maybe put it on a shelf in the closet?

This morning I was blessed by a workshop given by a young man who is at Princeton Theological Seminary. A friend said during the break what a gifted man he was—a storyteller, a pastor, an educator, an advocate for Deaf people…and so much more. In the few days he has been here, he has left quite an impact on people. He seems to be able to give and then give more without keeping tabs. He is one of those Deaf people who lights up a room with his facial expressions and beautiful use of signed language, who rises above the oppression he has faced and turns the pain into a golden nugget. He knows Whose he is and rests peacefully in that knowledge.

Tonight at mass at the prison, the sharing was about how do you know what love is—and how do you know that God loves you. The person speaking did not know if she was truly loved by God. I am always puzzled by this concept. I may not have always felt loved in my home growing up—I was an awkward, shy, self-professed ugly child, but I always knew God loved me. I have known since I was five years old. I cannot always describe to people how I know this, but I do know it as my Truth. So many people have yet to learn this. We have a lot of hurting hearts that cannot trust anyone, let alone God. This was evident tonight in the conversations with the men after mass. One told me he was whipped with electric cords but that he knew his mother had done a good job raising him. Really?? This person has no clue what love is. All I can ask is to be a loving presence to people who have yet to learn that Love exists.

I cannot say that my life is been clear sailing or that I was left unscathed by the years, but even in the most miserable moments, I have known that I was Loved. This photo was taken in Burundi during a difficult workshop on grief for trainers who had lost entire villages during the genocide. It belies the pain that was unleashed during my days with these people and yet I have hoped that my presence there did allow the joy to return to hearts so shattered.

I have been given so much that I must return it. Perhaps this is why service seems so obvious to me. In the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, the final days of the prayer asks the retreatant to find the courage to say, “Take, Lord, receive. All is yours now. I return it. All I need is your love and your grace. That is enough.” Take the remaining days of my life, Lord. May I serve you with a heart that does not count the cost.

Peace,

Suzanne

Flower Power

"People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us." ~ Iris Murdoch, A Fairly Honourable Defeat

I finally took a walk after work today. I need to get back into the routine of walking, especially at this glorious time of the year. The smell of flowers filled each step as blossoms bless the air. We are ahead of schedule this year with blooming.

Walking is still painful in some ways but if I can push past the initial steps the ache dissipates. I find walking is one of the easiest ways for me to lose weight. On my recent two-week vacation I lost 7 pounds and probably walked ten kilometers a day.

A friend asked me recently which places are left on my life list to travel to. I listed the ones that have been on my list for a while: El Camino, Machu Picchu, and the Galpagos Islands. The first two require me to be in better shape than I currently am.

I love the outdoors. I love the freshness of beauty budding and think I could be mad with joy if I stopped to breathe it all in. I am so glad that I am from a planet that allows me to walk and enjoy Nature’s offerings.

Peace,

Suzanne

Buzzing Along

"As the bee takes the essence of a flower and flies away without destroying its beauty and perfume, so let the sage wander in this life." ~ Buddha

I am wandering into a new year and hope to suck the nectar of life and hold its beauty lightly in my soul. May I not destroy the sweet fragrance of the journey by holding on to the past and fearing the future.

Peace,

Suzanne

Goodbye 50; Hello 51!

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” ~ Thornton Wilder

My jubilee year has come to an end and a new one has begun. In this photo, I am 5 months old. Fifty has come and gone and today I am a new age. As I reflect back on this magnificent year, I am incredibly grateful for the treasures offered during my half a century but also in the past 16 months of celebrating this milestone.

What an amazing year(ish)! I am going to bed, well celebrated today and trusting that this year remains in God’s hands, and so I know it is in good hands.

Peace,

Suzanne

Love, Truth, Action!

"Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.” ~ 1 John 3:18

Interesting readings today! The first reading talks about Saul and how no one trusted him at first when he attempted to join the disciples after persecuting them. Saul, aka Paul, had begun to “speak boldly in the name of Jesus.” The community was starting to flourish and enjoy great peace, we discover, held together in the “fear of the Lord and comfort of the Holy Spirit.” As a student of Ignatius of Loyola, I understand fear to be about Creator versus creature, of recognizing the divine and being filled with awe and reverence for it.

The second reading speaks again of boldness, asking for what we desire as we obey the commandments and do that which pleases God. We are reminded to love one another and abide in Jesus. The Gospel makes this even plainer by Jesus’ proclamation that he is the true vine and for the branches that do not bear fruit, pruning is coming. For those that do bear fruit, more fruit is expected. The reminder comes that it is not that we bear fruit on our own accord but it is because we are attached to the vine that we can bear good fruit. Apart from the vine, a branch can do nothing.

This is a good reminder at a time when the Church seems to be in crisis once again. We must act in accordance with Christ, otherwise the fruit we bear will not be good. Our deeds will rot. Each of us must continue to weigh for ourselves if our lives are lived in love, truth and action. Some days it will seem like what we must do is too bold and we cannot make those steps, yet, perhaps that is the very moment we must blossom.

The photo shows a group of women in Rwanda who were meeting to discuss the role of churchwomen rebuilding and healing relationships in their country after the genocide. There was no spirit of timidity there. Relying on Jesus to guide them, these women wanted to enjoy great peace.

I cannot help but think of the many religious sisters around the world who live out their belief in Jesus Christ through good deeds. Of course, for every one hundred good branches, there might be the odd one that is not bearing the proper fruit. I have certainly known a few wing-nut nuns, but they are in the minority as most I know have truly yoked themselves to Christ. Today, I am praying for religious women around the globe as they carry out their good works with love and truth. I am grateful for their modeling. May God grant them strength and endurance, like Saul, to continue to serve Christ in all that they do.

Peace,

Suzanne

The Lord's Goodness

“I believe that I shall enjoy the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living.” ~ Psalm 27:13

My 50th year is quickly drawing to a close. I am so grateful for all that has been and all that will still be. I have enjoyed the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living and know that I am deeply, richly, joyfully blessed.

This week is somewhat of a mosaic of the year. A week ago I called a long-time friend to catch up on life. I later went to the Happy movie and spent the next few days, wondering about my vocation. The next day I met with some new parishioners for lunch, unofficially wearing my Welcoming Committee hat. I got an unexpected call later in the day to join my oldest goddaughter and her family for supper at a new Vietnamese restaurant in town that got rave reviews from the local food critic. The next night, I caught the final play of the season at the local theatre with good friends. Later in the week, a friend from elementary school sent me a message via FaceBook to invite me to meet an American priest who is blind who uses his weakness for good. He believes God can transform people through their disability—and we all have disabilities. The next night I went out with a woman whose sister had been a good friend up until she died two years ago of multiple myleoma. We attended a benefit concert for the disease and thoroughly enjoyed the evening though we had no idea what on earth we were getting ourselves into. Last night, I had supper out again, with a woman who I have come to value greatly for her wisdom and insights. Today, I went shopping for grad accessories with the fore-mentioned goddaughter as her big event draws nearer.

I believe that this land of the living has offered me much of the Lord’s goodness this week and throughout my life. The word that struck me tonight in the quote was shall—I shall enjoy. The choice appears to be ours. Will you choose to enjoy the Lord’s goodness given to you this day?

Peace,

Suzanne

Powerful, Painful, Pulitzer Prize Play

Give me pain, if that's what's real.
It's the price we pay to feel.
The price of love is loss,
But still we pay.
We love anyway.
~Light lyrics, Next to Normal

Spring is arriving slowly here…the way hope does sometimes. I went to see a powerful, but painful Pulitzer Prize play last night—Next to Normal—in which Diana, the protagonist, is bipolar. The drama watches her flying into a manic state before she descends into depression in the first act. The effect on her family is painful to watch as the play twists and turns. This rock opera kicks the audience in the stomach and silences them during the intermission. What can be said about what was just seen? None of the frivolous chatter that normally bubbles into the foyer made sense. At curtain call, the crowd was on our feet, applauding the cast for tackling such a difficult topic and shedding light on mental illness within a family.

Before I left for the theatre, a childhood friend who now suffers from schizophrenia called. I cried during some parts of the play, like during the conversations about whether or not Diana should receive electroconvulsive therapy. My friend received them too. I still remember how they affected her. She has been hospitalized for over a year now and is sinking deep into depression about that. I tried to tell her to hang on to hope because if she is depressed again, then she has to remain where she is.

A few days before going to the play, a woman from my church committed suicide. She had been struggling with depression over the winter, and it was not her first round of it apparently. I knew she had been off work due to stress. She had emailed me recently but I could not join her in her venture. She would invite me to a number of things; she was seeking happiness or contentment, something that seemed elusive, I guess. She wanted to belong. A number of us are saddened by this tragedy. She leaves three adult children who I could not help but wonder about watching the musical last night. Life in the house of someone with a mental illness is chaotic. Dan, the husband in the play, stays faithful, though he is clueless how to cope with the situation.

Scattered around the lobby, on tables and benches, were pamphlets and leaflets about depression, suicide, mood disorders, and other mental health issues. The program had information, too. Manitoba has soaring rates of mental illnesses. Perhaps more accurately, people are reporting mental illness more than ever before. There is hope in that. Spring is coming, even if it is too slowly for some.

Peace,

Suzanne