"My intuition was right. If in my heart I feel diminished and ashamed, I will betray this in my movements and physical attitude; if I feel proud and comfortable with my reality, I will bear myself accordingly, and the world will take its cue." ~ Albie Sachs
Albie Sachs came to this profound realization while sitting in the hot sun in a rose garden and agonizing over taking off his jacket and ruining the beauty of the moment for those around him who would see the stub of his blown off arm and be horrified. When he decided that his attitude might shape the reaction of others, he discovered this truth: the world did take its cue from him. In the midst of beauty, he found his own worth by trusting his intuition. What would happen if we all did that more often?
How we view ourselves really affects those around us. I had an interesting conversation this week with a young woman who was struggling with self-esteem. Bullied for a good portion of her life, the messages in her head and spirit are ones that diminish who she is and what she does. How do we turn that around? While a good amount of grace is helpful, I think finding your self worth comes from knowing that you are deeply loved, regardless of your shortcomings. Some days you have to fake it until you make it, but at some point, you do arrive at a place that feels comfortable and affirming.
Recently, on my vacation, I put on a bikini and walked down the beach. The first day I wore it my two girlfriends commented on how brave I was. I managed to pull it off with a certain degree of confidence. Of course, both of them had commented earlier that I had lost a fair amount of weight so I had been working up to this moment and though I am still wanting to lose some weight, I was pleased and proud of the progress I made. As I walked down that beach, I felt like a beauty queen and the world took its cue from me.
Of course, a funnier story was my walk down the beach on my second last night. I was turning heads like crazy and thought I must look pretty good. One guy started to say something as I passed by him, but then did not really continue his train of thought. A few steps later I turned around to take a final shot of the sunset and saw him staring after me with this strange look on his face. I did not really process it and kept walking though a niggling voice stayed with me for a second. When I reached my turn off to the town, I stopped at the top of the stairs to brush the sand off my feet and and then dusted off my hands on the back of my dress. That was when I had an inkling of why I was turning so many heads. Something did not feel quite right. My dress had a tie in the back and it had gotten caught in my lacy underwear when I had been to the bathroom prior to walking down the beach. I was turning heads but not for the reason I had thought! However, I was not mortified as I might have been at another point in my life. Instead, I held my head proudly and thought how entertaining that must have been for people and hoped they had enjoyed the view.
These stories are a good example of feeling comfortable in your own skin and trusting what is yours. Sachs has been an inspiration to me as I have read his memoir of surviving the bomb attack. I think meeting him tomorrow will be a life-changing event. His courage to step beyond the event that transfigured him has set a new bar for me.
When you last trusted your intuition, what did the world see in you?
Peace,
Suzanne
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