Please Smile

"Please smile, knowing that everything will be fine." ~ Advice in an email from the planning committee for the Thich Nhat Hanh retreat planning committee to those registered for the August retreat

I came home to this email and promptly smiled. Lots is needing to be accomplished in the next two weeks prior to my departure to South Africa. To start with I have three papers due by June 10 and I still have about 200 pages of books to read before I can breathe easier about two of the papers. I do know that everything will be fine but I am struggling a bit with work-life balance at the moment.

Tonight I went to my goddaughter's amazing dance recital; it lasted 3.5 hours. The break did my soul good and I bathed in the beauty of the dances. I am just home and have decided to blog instead of read. A cool encounter with my friend's sister visiting from Utah helped me settle too. I am still feeling stressed but it is all good I keep telling myself. All shall be well is my mantra lately. I was telling this woman about how life was unfolding in miraculous and wonderful ways for the past 14 months or so, instilling in me awe and gratitude.

She does energy work and I had mentioned to her that today, driving back to the city, I suddenly felt like I had experienced a shift in energy and was overwhelmed with emotions as I read Tutu's book on Forgiveness. I have been reading literally thousands of pages about the stories of horror and hope regarding truth, memory and reconciliation and have managed to sleep well (no nightmares) but this afternoon, the emotions came barging in. I could have sobbed for a long while. I think the intensity of this course finally got to me. Better now than while I am there, I suppose. I am also aware at how tired I am at the moment. I must start getting more sleep.

A number of other emotional things are going on for me right now and as I work through some of them I feel somewhat fragile. It is not all doom and gloom. I had a conversation with some parents this afternoon with whom I have worked for over a decade and the mother turned to me at one point and said she would not know how to get along without me. I noticed yesterday that I was able to do some apartment dancing and found a song in my heart. This tells me that I am beginning to smile and everything will be just fine.

Peace,

Suzanne