I am nearing the end of my first eight-day Ignatian retreat. The pattern has very much been eat, pray, walk, sleep, and not necessarily in any given order. I have prayed, walked, and slept at all hours. The eating of the healthy and tasty food though has been at set hours. I have even made it to the pool to swim a few times. I am so grateful for this time to be.
Today we were given a wee respite as we did not have to pray one period on the communal matter. I awoke early and reached for my missalette for today's readings. John's Gospel was to be the prayer focus today. This line grabbed hold of my heart. Today I will be gathering up the fragments of my prayer times so that nothing may be lost.
My former pastor loved the Eucharist and he was an expert in feeding his flock. I read one of his homilies today on this topic. Are we eating junk food or are we eating until we are satisfied so that we can be food for others? He really comprehended our call as Catholics. I have been soaking up the Eucharist here, hungry for beautiful music, proper liturgy, and inspiring homilies. The sacrament has nourished my soul. I will gather up the left overs for the long journey ahead.
I have noticed that my internal song has returned. I am a horrible singer. I cannot hold a tune but I love to sing. In my quiet, centred times, I am aware of the music that comes out of my soul. Sometimes I recognize the song but often times it is simply a serenade to my soul, one that arises naturally and joyfully. I am not even sure when it stopped being inside of me; I just know that it is a gift to have it back. I even find myself singing out loud in my quiet moments of walking the fields or sitting in prayer. These are fragments to hold tightly to in the days ahead. I must not let them be diminished again.
Tomorrow afternoon I leave here and return to the 'world"--we were cautioned this evening about getting caught in desolation. I am soon to bed and I must admit that I am still living fully this experience. I look forward to leaving and spending time with friends here. I will reunite with some of these folks on Tuesday as it is Ignatius' Feast Day.
What fragments do you need to gather this day so that nothing is lost?
Peace,
Suzanne
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