In the Gospel the other day, Jesus tells Mary not to hold on to him, as he needs to return to God. Humans have difficulty letting go of good experiences, fond memories, loving people. I have found myself missing Bali immensely this past week and a half. I keep dreaming about sitting on a beach and listening to the waves, probably because I did not get to do that before I left Bali.
Ok, so today with the earthquake, I probably would not have wanted to be in Indonesia but still, I cling to my vacation, and hate the idea of going to work every day. I know I will get over it, but right now when I look at some of my photos, I see how rested and happy I look. We do not forget the extraordinary, whether it is elephants or people or events.
Last night when I went to bed, I started hacking around midnight. That continued for several hours. At 4:00 I knew I had to let go of the idea of getting up and driving to a school two hours away. I called in sick and lay in bed, thinking about how healthy I seemed while I was away. I was in some pain, well, quite a bit of pain due to walking as much as I did but when I arrived in Bali, something shifted and I was more pain-free and at peace. I think I love the tropics. Why was I born where I was then? Nowhere near a tropical rainforest or ocean. I cling better than some top-selling kitchen wraps.
Elephants, dragonflies, and massages remain with me. People who adorn themselves with a flower every morning to remind themselves that they are holy and belong to the divine wander through my mind. I miss the smell of incense and the hundreds of offerings that I needed to step over daily. I know that in a week or so, the misery will pass and I will settle into life here and be happy but right now, I close my eyes and I am laughing at the elephant dropping a floral lei on me
or soaking up the sun as I rest by the pool.
What are you having trouble forgetting right now?
Peace,
Suzanne
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