God wants a lot. Satan is more easily pleased. ~ Madeleine L’Engle in The Rock That is Higher: Story as truth.
"That was a good story,” the inmate whispered as I slipped back into my chair in the prison chapel tonight. He continued after a pause, “ I almost fell asleep.” It took me a moment to figure out what he meant but then I quietly responded with a smile, "It is a good bedtime story.” My voice had soothed something in him as I proclaimed the first reading, which was fairly lengthy.
It is a story from my own childhood—Eve and the serpent in the garden. I was in Grade 1 and hearing the Hebrew Testament stories for the first time in English and falling madly, deeply, and passionately in love with them. Many misogynists and a few misinformed, but good-hearted, souls have misinterpreted the conversation between these two characters. I won’t go there in this blog though.
I think Madeleine’s quote gives a hint as to the real story of the Garden of Eden. God demands a lot from us. As I work this 40-day program, one of the questions is what is the lie that I believe about a certain aspect of my life based on a short daily reading. I am finding this piece intriguing as it pushes me to think about what I believe and what I think I believe about my value base, my thoughts, my desires, and my actions. This daily check in has been a challenge and I am only on Day 4. I have five more weeks to go.
I do think I am fairly honest with myself. Actually, I can be brutally honest with myself. I am incredibly introspective. What I am finding though is that God wants even more of that from me. Satan loves the superficial, “yeah, I should really try to give up chocolate for Lent” and chuckles when we decide one little piece won’t wreck the journey. God is much more on the ball, calling us to wholeness and accountability while continuing to love us completely. God knows that the one little piece chips away at the integrity of the bigger plan of health and peace.
God had some pretty harsh words for Adam and Eve in the Garden but God was still amazingly generous in responding. We can strive half-heartedly to please God this Lent, or we can try to be as faithful as we can to our Lenten commitments. Yes, I am saying this because I just messed up. I spotted a Lindt chocolate bar moments before starting this blog posting and before I knew it, I had eaten several squares. I am trying not to eat in the last four hours of my day. Blew that tonight. Thank goodness, God’s mercy is new every morning. I will try again tomorrow to get back on track.
I am grateful that God does have high standards and that I can try to live them out. I am happy to even have the desire to follow them. It is a gift really. On Day 4, I think I am starting to see that my desire to please God is growing. I won’t always be able to control the temptations that slither my way, but I can see that the next time they appear I have a choice. I don’t just have to give in to my cravings. I can give them over to One who cares about my health and sanity.
Peace,
Suzanne
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