God Has My Back!

Healing presence is the condition of being consciously and compassionately in the present moment with another or with others, believing in and affirming their potential for wholeness, wherever they are in life. ~ James Miller

This weekend I am at a retreat centre where Maureen Conroy, from the Upper Room in New Jersey, is facilitating a session entitled Healing Trauma: The gift of prayer and spiritual direction. It has been an interesting couple of days as we've learned about the basic truths of trauma, prayer and spiritual direction, the various forms of trauma, their symptoms, and how prayer and spiritual direction can help resolve them.

I am always aware that the stories I hear as a spiritual director are sacred and the privilege to walk with someone through their journey is not lost on me. During my time with the Formation for Healing Ministry, I have witnessed people who have been traumatized restored to wholeness. God works in mysterious and wonderful ways. To be consciously and compassionately in the present moment with another is a gift for both people, especially when God joins in, too.

Trauma means wound, I learned this weekend. Whether that wound is perceived or actual, the person experiencing it, is overwhelmed and unable to cope. The length of time varies and whether it is simple trauma (meaning one event) or more complicated like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex-PTSD, trauma can change everything temporarily for the person affected.

Motor vehicle accidents was an example of an event that can traumatize a person. I know this personally because I still have feelings of anxiety when the glare of headlights catches my eye as it did when I was involved in a car accident in the fall. This phenomena gives me a bit of a flashback and heightens my stress.

We had the opportunity to discuss our own traumas with another person today and I selected the incident in DR Congo. It was really helpful. I was asked by the woman I was teamed with how I felt about God in the whole thing. I heard myself say a number of things about protection and how God was in control. What surprised me was when I said, "I knew then that God had my back." Such an odd statement but it struck me as so true--and who better to have my back?

Tomorrow we explore toxic shame and guilt. That should be interesting. While I knew some of the more basic information, I am gleaning lots of things that would be useful if I return to Congo. My sense and experience of what the body holds in its memory was confirmed today. Maureen has shown us a few simple movements to awaken the body to healing. I hope to practice them and not forget them.

I have enjoyed slowing down and seeing people here with a passion to serve other people on the road to wholeness. I met someone I had not seen in decades (a trauma therapist) but who had a profound impact on my own healing with the vicarious trauma I experienced at work. She had given a workshop to the professional group of interpreters in the province at a time when I was figuring out that I needed to change what I was doing if I was going to survive and not burn out. She affirmed me on the journey and here I still am in the field.

I love to learn and I hope I never stop having the desire to seek out new information. I think it has kept me sane and joyful all these years. How about you? Where are you at these days and who has your back?