Life-Changers

If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.
~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Sometimes two unlikely people connect and actually end up liking each other. Such was the case with Fr. Brian and I. Our first meeting was typical. He was in the sacristy preparing for mass when I walked in and he could not find what he was looking for. “Some blankety-blank-blank left this out here ….” I was a little taken aback but I got an excellent glimpse of a man I was to end up loving. Some people left the parish because of his colourful language and unorthodox thinking but lots of people came to hear this man who renewed their faith in all kinds of ways.

He was a recovering alcoholic who said it as it was. He did not make the message pretty with angel talk or fluffy warm feelings. Nope, not Brian. Instead he took his truth and smacked you in the head with it, and before you knew it, you were nodding in agreement. From the characters from the pages of Scriptures, he would spin a story, calling Joseph Joe and sure enough, they had become realer than they had ever been.

Brian had amazing real life stories and was the first to show his own woundedness. He had spent time working in Jamaica and had both hilarious and poignant stories, especially about his time accompanying the inmates on death row there.

He loved the beach and would escape to Florida from time to time. He led the parish on a trip to Cuba where we brought medical and school supplies to the local people. Upon arrival, he could hardly breathe and we wondered if he would need to go to the hospital. He had kicked a lot of things in life, but smoking was one habit he could not or would not give up and in the end the damage to his lungs was what killed him.

He did his research on me and I was one of the people he ended up trusting completely. We sat together on Pastoral Parish Council (PPC) and he convinced me to stay for a run of seven years, making me trustee. I loved being on PPC because my gifts were used and valued. I headed up the Stewardship Committee under his watch and when it was not very successful, he still could not express his gratitude enough to me, saying, “We do what we do because it is good and should be done. If it happens to work well, that's a bonus!"

Before he died, he sent me another email, this time surprising me by an acknowledgement. Brian was similar to my father in the sense that my dad does not always express himself with the words, “I love you,” but you can still comprehend that he does love you. Brian had been on a board of an organization in Toronto when he lived there and when he stepped off, they gave him a token of appreciation. I have told only one other person this story but because today is his birthday and I miss him, I thought I would share the secret that I have kept these past few years. He inspired me to be a better person—as he did for many others. He never tried to change anyone; it just happened because he called out the best in people. He affirmed me in my journey—as he did others. Today though I am humbly and gratefully remembering that he also wanted me to know he was profoundly aware of my efforts to make the parish a great place to be. So with that in mind, he asked me to help him think of a concrete way to acknowledge the PPC volunteers because of my example of volunteering. We sometimes do not know the effect we have until someone else points it out. Brian did that to me in this simple gesture. I am honoured that a gift was created because I inspired it and it does not matter to me that very few people know that part of the story. Brian called forth the best in people and changed lives. That is probably one of the things I miss most about him.

Last night I went to a Purim party that the Jewish woman hosted for our interfaith group. I had a fantastic time. We ate well, laughed lots, read the story of Queen Esther, and went home content with the gifts that our host Esther had prepared for us, as is customary at Purim. Queen Esther was another person who changed lives by her prayer and fasting.

What are you doing to change lives today?

Peace,

Suzanne