My Grandma, What a Big Heart You Have!

We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me. ~Phyllis Theroux


Interesting that today will be my 60th blog posting and the last day to write about matters of the heart and that I would choose to honour my grandmother with this entry. She should be remembered in a special way and this seems fitting.

Yesterday, had she survived, Gram would have been 101. However, she did not even want to wait around for her 95th birthday. She was tired and wanted to go Home. Who could really blame her? All of us grieved to think about not having her in our lives anymore but we knew she was ready. She would get so angry if we hinted at having a 95th birthday party for her.

I have marvelous memories of treks to BC to spend time with my mother’s family throughout my childhood. As an adult I continued the sojourn, often on a biennial basis. Gram was a remarkable woman. Grandpa died 34 years into their marriage and Gram never remarried. She seemed content all those years on her own, surrounding herself with her children and grandchildren, other family members, and friends.

She did know how to bless us all, despite the evidence at times. She remembered birthdays and special events when no one else did. When I graduated from my interpreter training program, she was the only family member that recognized it by sending a card and words of affirmation. She loved all of her kids and grandkids and would tell stories about us with such pride.

I could not get enough of her stories. She was insightful and hilarious. She could get a room full of people laughing in no time. Sometimes, though, a very serious side of her would come out. She would recall the hard times and you could feel the pain in her words. I am sure there were many situations that I never heard about. Raising a disabled child in an era where there were little social supports in place was challenging but she loved her youngest daughter just as much as her other children.

I can see her even now, sitting in her chair in her apartment, praying. She was such a woman of faith. I swear I inherited that from her. She had rock solid despite having a right to rail against a God who threw some curve balls her way in life. I arrived one morning to find her having a mini stroke but not wanting to go to the hospital since I had just flown into town. The aftermath of the strokes and such left her “tight” as she would call it and in pain. In many ways, prayer was what she could still do best and I knew we were blessed to have such a woman interceding for all of us.

I ticked her off one day when I did not let on that the family was throwing her a big surprise birthday party. She was so mad at me—for all of an hour or so. Gram loved to party and her family loved to honour her in that regard. I have fond memories of going out with her and her sisters. They were such fun together. I felt as if I had stepped back in time and was really blessed at sharing sister time with them.

Once when we thought the end was near, Mom and I flew out and visited her in the hospital while she was in a coma. I was there one day with my cousin and uncle who were playing crib to pass the time. I decided to do the daily readings out loud. Well, if I did not see her mouth open and close when I got to the point where the people say Amen. I glanced at my cousin and uncle who had not noticed and continued reading. After awhile, she opened her eyes. She then said a single letter...or so I thought….it was a single word actually: Pee! She had to pee. These were the first words out of her mouth after being “gone” for days. Gram was back and gave us a story that would cause us to laugh in the days ahead.

I was not there in the final days but I heard from family that staff would find a peacefulness in her room and so would just go and be with her. On that last day, she kept throwing her arms open as if to hug someone and then quickly close them. In her final moment, surrounded by her loving family, she threw them wide open. Whoever she had been waiting for had arrived. She surrendered completely to that Being and drew her final breath.

I love that story. After ninety-four years on earth, she had many people to welcome her Home but she waited patiently for the One who came for her. I will never know exactly who that was but I have my suspicions. Gram who loved us tremendously and unconditionally was loved so much by all of us. We miss her terribly. Some days I wish I could just get her advice on something. She always had such an interesting perspective. I look forward to the day of throwing open my arms to hug her once again.

Peace,

Suzanne