Love Every Moment

I shall spend every moment loving. One who loves does not notice her trials; or perhaps more accurately, she is able to love them. ~ Bernadette Soubirous

Today is the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes. When I was a little girl, I was taken by the movie, Song of Bernadette, the story of Bernadette Soubirous, the young French girl to whom Our Lady appeared to numerous times. I still remember my feelings at the end of the film when Bernadette died. I was so struck by her faith, right to the end.

Decades later, I would travel to Lourdes, tearing myself away from my beloved Taize to spend a few days in the place where Mary is said to have appeared to Bernadette and where now a spring flows and people can immerse themselves in the healing waters. I was not sure what to expect when I arrived in Lourdes but it was not a great experience. Everywhere I went Italian women seemed to be shrieking out Ava Maria. Line ups were long. A creepy man followed me around the village. I watched people bring severely disabled children to the spring and wondered what they expected from the visit. I prayed for them, that their hearts would be transformed and that they could love the person before them completely just the way they were. I did not really get it.

I immersed myself in those healing waters seemingly to no avail but did not disbelieve that this place was holy. I struggled the whole time I was there to integrate what I was seeing. I had a long talk one afternoon with the priest at Pax Christi where I was staying. I am not exactly sure how we had such deep conversation in a language I am not fluent in but we did. Those are the moments that remain with me as healing. He had written me off early as someone who perhaps was a mindless child but by the end of it, I could tell that some healing had happened within him too during our conversations and he held great respect for me, insisting upon driving me to the train station, something he never did for other guests who were not known to him previously. I remember his farewell words of encouragement in particular, especially during times of struggle.

I think it is amazing that so many years later someone who began by disliking me can have had such a profound effect on me. Maybe Bernadette was right about trying to live her life every moment loving. In this month of love, maybe I should try to spend more time acting lovingly. Perhaps my own heart will continue to be transformed.

peace,

Suzanne