Happy New You!

"The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul." ~ G. K. Chesterton

I went to mass tonight to end the year that has been about seeking gratitude with the ultimate act of thanksgiving--the Eucharist. I am now procrastinating heading off to a party but will depart once this posted. I am not a fan of New Year's Eve in the sense of giving it power to create or claw back joy. Honestly, I would prefer to curl up in bed right now, and review my year and give God the end of my hours for 2012. I will though go down the street to friends and enjoy God face to face in the people there before returning home and doing that.

The Archbishop is a wise man and he had many good things for us to ponder tonight. Mary is our model for carrying Christmas in our hearts throughout the year. The Gift we received a week ago is meant to be cherished for more than a calendar day.

I am making decisions about my New Year resolutions and hope to make ones that challenge and inspire. I want to strive for the better pieces of life and to continue to create a person who has her eyes on Jesus.

Happy New Year, dear readers! May 2013 bring joy, peace, and love to you.

Peace,

Suzanne

How Holy is Your Family?

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ~ Mother Teresa

Today is the Feast of the Holy Family and we catch a glimpse of a somewhat obedient son who goes home with his family after frightening them with his disappearance. We catch sight of the reality of family life for this Holy Trio. This was not a family of holiness in the sense of perfect--there were quarrels and stressors just like any other family. Perhaps just like your own family? Mother Teresa's advice on this day makes sense. If we want a holy family, we must begin by loving....through all the situations that normally drive us crazy and make us frustrated.

Peace,

Suzanne

Eulogy Forgotten

“I want words at my funeral. But I guess that means you need life in your life.” ~ Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

My day started with a funeral for my childhood neighbour at my old parish. The event threw me into a different era several times. Firstly, I could not believe how the kids had grown up. The oldest boy sported a bow tie like his dad used to when he was dressed up and that was not lost on me. His sister looked beautiful and all grown up. When I introduced myself to her she seemed surprised to see me but there was something about her that I really liked. Perhaps it was the way she stuck close to her boys and then later her mother. She seemed to be a caregiver with a gentle heart. The other brother joked around a bit. On the eve of the feast of the Holy Family, here was a family sticking together.

I remembered babysitting the two younger kids almost weekly at one point. I could not remember where the older brother was during this time. Perhaps he was old enough to be gone and out partying himself. We all played together in our back yards, climbing trees, pretending to be characters from Dark Shadows, whiling away summer days until our parents called us in for supper. Afterwards at the reception, their cousin came over to say hello as she had joined us in some of those games. I was transported back in time to a more carefree life.

The church itself brought back memories of attending the teepee church as we called it, with a language that I never mastered though I surprised myself today as the responses and even some of the songs flowed easily from my lips. The priest, though younger than me, seemed frozen in time as he preached a homily on heaven and hell. Was this really almost 2013? He even forgot the eulogy and I could not help but wonder if it is because technically a eulogy is not to be given during the funeral mass anymore.

During the reception I met another one of the cousins with whom I used to go to school. Her brother was in my grade and she was a year older. We worked on the school paper and literary magazine together. She was still writing, for a newspaper in a large Canadian city. I was glad to see that she was living out that dream and using her gifts.

I hope that the eulogy was not abandoned altogether today. Perhaps after I left, a speech was given about this man. I think for me my neighbour embodied the French joie de vivre. He had a sparkle in his eyes that comes to mind when I think of him. I wonder about my eulogy and what people might say about me. I do not dwell on it but I am curious what will stand out for people about my life.

What about your eulogy? What do you think people will say about you?

Peace,

Suzanne

Weeping in the World

"A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more." ~ Matthew 2:18

Today is the Feast of the Holy Innocents. I woke up with the thought of children around the world today still be massacred in DR Congo, in Syria, in Newtown, and around the world. My mind drifted to the Idle No More Movement and the children on reserves who live in slum conditions in Canada. We fail children still today. We are unable to protect them and we assist covertly in their destruction with our First World hunger. A voice still weeps in Ramah and Rachel is yet to be comforted. We should all refuse to be comforted until the violence stops.

Peace,

Suzanne

Hidden Truths

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” ~ Buddha

Tomorrow is a full moon. Even in the overcast sky tonight, the moon could be glimpsed. On the dullest of days, the sun's effects can be seen. The truth however takes a little longer to be revealed sometimes. Oddly enough, the worst hidden truth are the ones we hide from ourselves. When we cannot face the truth, we bring upon ourselves a slow and painful revelation of it. The more we flee from it, the more it haunts us by controlling our emotions and thoughts. What is amazing is that when the sun and moon do reappear after an absence, the beauty is breathtaking. Could it be the same with truth? When we welcome it into our lives, will we rejoice in receiving it?

Is there a truth in your life that should not be hidden much longer?

Peace,

Suzanne

Point of Entry

"And this is the thing: He chooses my dirty places, the places that shame me, as His point of entry." ~ Ann Voskamp

Today is the Feast of St. Stephen which always reminds me that Christmas and Easter are linked inextricably and profoundly. We cannot have one without the other. I pulled myself out of a deep sleep this morning and made my way to mass to remember the cost of this Holy Season.

The day has been spent not in malls, hunting for the best deal, though there was a bit of a temptation to do so. Instead, a Skype call with friends in Nairobi reminded me that something greater than a miracle can happen in our lives when we reflect mindfully on both the blessings and trials. I also received a thank you email from a stranger who has been struggling and wanted to thank me for easing her burden a wee bit. Both events point toward the real reason we are given life. The outcome should be something greater than ourselves. We are called to be servants and to praise the Creator.

Voskamp's blog post today reveals that God is with us in those shameful places--those smelly places where cows and sheep fill the air with less than pleasant aromas. God comes vulnerable to show that we too are called to be open to what is fragile and hurting within us. God makes his entry into splendor and simplicity. The Divine One chose not a grand palace to be born within. Always the Disguised One chooses the place least likely to enter in.

is there a shameful place that you need the Holy One to enter into in your life right now? He knows those places intimately. Won't you welcome Him in?

Peace,

Suzanne

Christmas Love

"Only the absurdity of love can break the bonds of hate." ~ Madeleine L'Engle

Love arrived overnight, amidst the shining stars and angel songs, a love so needed and longed for in our broken world. I stand as a witness to Love. I am so blessed in so many ways. As the music group wrapped up the pre-mass carols with Count Your Blessings, I could not help but say thank You.

I had had a wonderful day with friends...from start to end. Today was also a fabulous day with blessings pouring forth. Family time was good. I realize that each year might be our last gathering as this particular clan and so I am more appreciative than I perhaps could have been in earlier years.

God gave such a great gift in becoming Human. In that moment of Love coming to earth as a frail and vulnerable infant, we catch a glimpse of the absurdity of God's plan. Imagine being able to hold God in our hands and coo over the Beauty that rests there! How blessed are we? Can we comprehend that Love came to break the bonds of hate and to free us from all that binds us? Jesus is our Saviour and yet at the same time, he is our brother. He knows our struggles and encountered plenty of his own while he shared this space on earth. This Love knows well our sorrows and joys. He sat at family suppers, lost a beloved father, laughed with friends as only friends can do, gave completely of himself to those who needed him, and rested in the knowledge that he was Loved too.

This Christmas Love is wished you now and throughout the coming year. Merry Christmas!

Peace,

Suzanne

S is for Sacred

"Our God who breathes stars, He breathed Bethlehem’s Star, then took on lungs and breathed in stable air." ~ Ann Voskamp

S is for stars, stables, and sacred. S is for Saviour. S is for satisfied and sacrament. S is for shalom. Such a powerful letter!

Today was a sacred day spent with friends in deep appreciation for all that is shared between us. I am blessed indeed with this mystery of Life, Love, and Faith. I am heading to bed fully satisfied. It cannot get much better than this.

Rejoice the Saviour has come! Spread the Word!

Peace,

Suzanne

He Shall Be Peace

"...and he shall be peace." ~ Micah 5:5

My sign off in these postings is peace. I chose that because I feel the world needs peace. When I read the first reading today, I was reminded of why peace is important to me. He shall be called the Prince of Peace and is OUR peace. Today's first reading from Micah reminds us that we shall live secure in this great peace. We await that day with hopeful hearts.

We catch a glimpse of that peace in the gospel with the encounter between cousins Elizabeth and Mary, two women who keep their gaze on God. These two women are faithful even in their remarkable circumstances. Many might not accept their task. Some might let it become ego-driven--look at me, God chose me to bear the Christ child. Others might live in fear of failure. So many emotions keep us off course. What witnesses to us these two women are! Blessed are we who believe what is spoken to us by the Lord. May we all be given ears to hear.

Peace,

Suzanne

Love Wins

"Don't let them suck your fun circuits dry. Love wins." ~ Lindor Reynolds quoting Ana Márquez-Green while covering her funeral

Today the six-year-old victim in the shootings in Connecticut who had lived in Winnipeg was laid to rest. Ana Márquez-Green's family had strong community and church ties here and many people watched the funeral that was live streamed into a church here. Twenty-eight funerals is a lot of sorrow and sadness to comprehend for any town or nation.

Ana apparently was a ball of joy. One day she comforted her mom who was having a hard time at work with, "Don't let them suck your fun circuits dry." She seemed like a child whose future was going to be bright. She is gone much too soon but her memory like those of the other 26 staff and students that were shot at the school that horrible day will help love win.

I have wondered if Love will win overall in the aftermath of such a crime. Twenty-eight lives lost and too many others shattered to count. We all struggle to understand what happened that day and if anything could have changed the course of events.

If Love is really to win, we all must look at ourselves and decide to make a choice in Love's favour. As the fourth Sunday of Advent arrives tomorrow, the waiting for the Christ Child is shorter this year with Christmas Eve the next day. Give some thought to what the waiting for Love's arrival means. Help Love win.

Peace,

Suzanne

Eat Pecan Pie

“If we put off celebrations until everything was fine, we’d all starve and never eat another piece of pecan pie.” ~ Myrtle in The Winter Seeking, Vinita Hampton Wright

Is there ever a perfect time to celebrate? Our lives are made up of a mix of blessings and sorrows. We may come to the table or party with a smile on our face but a heart well shattered. We may show up at an event with tears but a heart of gratitude as well. Eat the pecan pie, I say! We cannot wait for a moment when life carries no pain in it. We must learn to embrace it all and know that the balance will keep us sane.

Today it was announced that our school raised almost $780 for the family across the street whose Christmas was stolen by thieves...or rather attempted to be stolen. They now know a deeper meaning to Christmas with the generosity of our school community's gift. The stocking full of money was accepted with grateful tears.

I recommend not putting off celebrating this Christmas.

Peace,

Suzanne

My Own Two Hands

I'm going to make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I'm going to help the human race
With my own two hands.
~ from My Own Two Hands by Jack Johnson & Friends

Tonight was the holiday concert at the Deaf School where I work. Our two youngest classes did this song in ASL and it almost had me in tears, given my thoughts this week about change starting with me. I had never heard it before and the words touched me deeply.

We had chosen as our theme this year a spinoff of Miracle on 42nd Street and it turned out to be oh so fitting. Yesterday our neighbour across the street from the school's home was broken into during the day and all the Christmas gifts were stolen. When our students heard about it, they made a miracle happen. They collected money from the audience tonight to give to the family who have two little children. They were going to go over after the concert and present them with the collection. I cannot wait until tomorrow to hear what happened.

I had a delightful exchange with one of the non-Deaf sisters of one of our students. She came up to me as I was cleaning up and said, "Excuse me, Miss."

I stooped down to her level and responded, "Yes, my dear. What can I do for you?"

I could see her brain whirling a thousand miles a minute and I want to help her out, so I smile warmly at her and touch her lightly on the arm, trying to assure her that whatever she wants to ask me is ok. She takes a deep breath and blurts out, "Will Santa really bring me what I asked for?"

Now it is time for my brain to buzz through a dozen responses rapidly before landing on this one: "What did you ask for?"

Her eyes wide with hope and innocence, she confesses in delight, "A doll!"

I figure that has to be ok, though I know the family's financial situation and am not totally positive they can swing even that. Somehow I find these words and hope that they will suffice: "Well, Santa might indeed bring you that doll--or he may decide to bring you the most awesome gift ever!"

Her eyes light up and she seems ok with the answer. We chat for a little longer before I resume my cleaning and somehow this concert has transformed me a little by bringing a little of the joy of the season. Yet at the same time, I recall watching the conversation that the little Deaf girl sitting on Santa's knee was having with him and my heart breaking a little. Santa was asking the kids all sorts of fun questions and unfortunately picked one that was not so safe: What did you buy for your mom and dad?

"I don't have a dad," the little girl signed back. "There is no dad in my family."

I glanced over at her mom who was watching this and saw her steel herself as the little girl looked over at her and signed once again that there was no dad. Santa took control of the situation. As the girl rejoined her mother, she signed that she have no dad a couple more times and I felt her innocence crumble a bit just as her mother took her in her arms and gave her a big hug and kiss on her head. A bit of my heart crumbled with that girl's innocence.

We all have two hands to make this world a safe place. Let's try to do that in the days ahead, especially for the wee ones in our lives.

Peace,

Suzanne

Giving Up the Starfields

"He forsook the boundlessness of space and confined Himself to skin and He gave up the starfields and took on shape and wore the bones." ~ Ann Voskamp

I am quoting from Ann Voskamp too often these days perhaps but I feel as if she is a life line lately. I love her poetic perspective and her solid faith, even in the inability to comprehend it all. This line grabbed me today as I read her blog. I imagine Jesus packing himself into this tiny wee body, wrapped in swaddling clothes, and getting ready to leave the spacious starfields, to come and lay quietly in a manger.

I close my eyes and I see him there in my arms, his tiny fingers wrapped around one of mine, his eyes wide open seeing beyond what any infant can take in, and a smile as bright as the star that we all follow to arrive at this humble crib. I am holding Holy. I have scooped up Sacred. I am cradling the One who Created me. How is this even possible? In all the pain and sorrow of these days since the shootings, I am quieted by a reverence that God is in control. God had a plan then and has one now.

As the directors met today, one of them said to me that she thought I was brave to put on the service last night for my sister and for those who had died in Connecticut. I was caught off guard and I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I had not considered myself to be brave. I had only done what I knew needed to be done to help to heal a community in pain.

God gave up the starfields to come down to this place of pain and of beauty. God took on bones and skin to minister to those who need Love and Compassion. The Creator asks us to join in this work too. I willingly say yes and I am grateful that I do not journey alone but with a community that holds me in the same way that the stars in the heavens do not shine alone either. We need each other. In these desperate times, we need each other more than we may be able to articulate...but we should all try.

Peace,

Suzanne

Heavy Hearts

"I don’t know if legs can hold a heart this heavy." ~ Ann Voskamp

Tonight was the annual Christmas Remembrance Service that I began with a small group of people over 17 years ago. We gathered in a special way to honour those killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. Also present tonight was the family whose son was killed in a boating accident. They have come several years in a row now--a large group of family members and friends, glued together through the unspeakable tragedy. There is the grandmother and grandson who come, ten years now, grieving the death of their daughter/mother. One family literally bears the scars of the suicide of their son who in his anguish slashed out to hurt someone else as well as himself.

Marking the 20th anniversary of my sister's death this Christmas, I brought many lives well-lived to the wreath we lit tonight. If I were really to consider what my journey has been, I would, like Voskamp, be unable to stand. As I type this, I listen to my friend Steve Bell, singing the John Michael Talbot, Magnifat (Holy is His Name)and I feel the tears well up. The next song up is The Angel Gabriel. Be not afraid! We have been answered and promised. In these dark days of sorrow for so many of us we must stay the course and remain on the path of peace. Perhaps like Ann we can only sit and pray that someone will help us rise and stand before we can take another step on the journey of grief.

When I started the Circle of Light/Circle of Love Service I had no idea that we would still be bringing comfort to people 18 years later. I would not have guessed that we would remember world tragedies as well as the local ones. A couple of years ago I questioned whether the service still have merit. I no longer ask that. I know that the end will come when God is done using it for healing. In the meantime, I pray to be a faithful servant.

Peace,

Suzanne

Within Us

"Change needs to start from within each of us." ~ sentiment from tonight's small group prayer share

We had an inspiring discussion at the small group prayer time I participate in on a monthly basis. The general thought was that we all need to look deep within ourselves to see where our dark places are and to try to be a kinder, gentler people.

I was thinking as I drove back into town today that if only we clung to God the way that this hoarfrost has been clinging to the trees since Saturday. Hoarfrost clings during these horror days.

That is all for tonight folks. I need to sleep!

Peace,

Suzanne

Pink Candle Joy!

"Shout for joy Daughter Zion! Sing joyfully, O Israel! Be glad and exult with all your heart O daughter Jerusalem! The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty Savior!" ~ Zephaniah 3

The events of Friday still linger in our minds and hearts. The collective scar on our souls is still bleeding. Today we are invited to enter into Joy as we light the pink candle on the Advent wreath. It seems unthinkable to do so and yet, the promise to cling to is the last sentence in this quote. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty Saviour. This is not some far-away deity, busy with something else. God is here now. Heaven came down to us and remains with us. There is reason to rejoice.

The Zephaniah reading states it clearly: The king of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall fear disaster no more. Through the love of God we can be renewed. I hold fast to that promise in these days of recovering from the tragedy and moving on. I have been having some flashbacks to my weekend in DR Congo--of watching the army shoot at children who are throwing stones at them. My heart aches for the pain in this world. Yet as the Psalm sings today in Isaiah 12, Surely God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid, I know that the Darkness will not win this time either. I will not give into the despair of my fears and sadness. I choose to stand, shout aloud and sing for joy.

Philippians 4 reassures us not to worry about anything. The peace of God is incomprehensible and it will guard our hearts, minds, and spirits in ways that are beyond our understanding. This peace will allow us to rejoice again.

Perhaps it is the Gospel of Luke 3 that holds the answer on how to do this, especially in light of world events. That peace begins within us. When John the Baptist is asked what should one do, his answer is simple. The message is to be kind, loving, gentle, just, fair, and honest. Give in your abundance to those who have none. Take only what belongs to you, no more. Do no harm to anyone, even when you have the power to do so. Be satisfied. Be content. These are simple rules for living. Yet can we do them? Can we do them with great love, these acts of small service? These are the daily events of our lives. These are what build bridges between people. These are the actions that can embrace the other instead of oppress them. These are the secret to a safer world much in need of healing. These are an effort to live without infringing on those around us. So simple, no?

By doing this, we might uphold the dignity of the other. We may spread joy. We may sow seeds of peace. The act of kindness might multiply. The wounded person might be surprised to discover they are not persecuted by everyone. The hurting person might pause and see a moment of goodness that might potentially turn the course of events.

I am an idealist. I am someone who dreams of hope, peace, joy, and love. I believe everyone has a place in our world. I trust that no act of kindness goes unwelcomed. I will sing joyfully, even with the residue of hatred and violence still stinging in the scars of humanity. I will exult with all my heart. I will believe in goodness. I will trust in God my Saviour. Shout for joy even while our heads are hung in shame. Decide that change happens with you and choose to live gently in great joy.

Peace,

Suzanne

Yearning in a Broken World

"When we do our part to be sources of light in our world, we diminish the effects of darkness." ~ 3 Minute Retreat reflection today, Loyola Press

Today was spent mostly feeling shell-shocked about the shootings and stabbings in Connecticut and China. Facebook was littered with opinions. Newspapers and the internet had stories upon stories. I did not want the pictures in my head, which has an ability to hold such images for long periods of time, replaying them more than CNN does. I hunkered down, not wanting to talk to anyone or enter the world as I knew it.

I could not help but think of the perpetrators and how something must have gone horribly wrong for them at some point in their lives to create such a wound that would lead them to commit such horrific acts. My mind wandered to their families and wondered how they were today as they woke up. I am much more familiar with the morning-after moments of grief of those who lost loved ones yesterday. I do not know if the emotions are the same. I suspect that shame and horror collide with the usual emotions of grief and loss.

The world can be a broken place at times. After reading too many accounts and opinions, I grabbed my camera and went for a walk in the neighbourhood which was covered with hoarfrost on this dull day. I needed to capture beauty. I needed to restore my soul to a bit of sanity in a world gone temporarily insane.

Or is it temporary? Advent reminds us that we are waiting...waiting for wholeness and healing. We are waiting in a world that is not yet free of darkness. We stand not yet able to deal with our own brokenness or that of the other. We do not welcome the stranger or the strange. We exile them and make them feel worse than they need to. When I go out to the federal penitentiary, I know that the men inside those walls are broken...and have shattered the lives of other people with their inability to function as whole people.

It is not easy to comprehend what happened yesterday. Seeing innocence snuffed out is reminiscent of Rachel's weeping. What I and all of us need to do is recognize that we are all wounded and all in need of Love. I want to recommit to being an instrument of peace in this world so that there are less moments of violence on every level. I want to be an agent of healing. Can we all try to be kinder and gentler so that those around us feel safer and less threatened? Do we all yearn for the moment of redemption that will allow us to stand healed and whole? Is the time for no more weeping and sorrow arriving any time soon?

Broken people have choices too. I realize this. As much as my wounds limit my ability to function some days, I pray that I would never harm myself or others physically. I do remember though one Christmas at a family gathering being surprised at the intensity of emotions that swept through me when I thought my then brother-in-law might be beating my sister in the basement of our family home. I am not sure what I might have done had I discovered that he was. He was not a well man. I am not proud of my emotions at that moment but I learned a valuable lesson. I think we are more capable of reacting in violence than we would admit, especially when we want to protect ourselves or our loved ones.

During Advent, we wait but not without hope. Tomorrow we enter week three and light the pink candle for joy. The stories of bravery and courage are starting to come out today from the school staff and students who survived the Newtown tragedy. We are meant to be people of Light, not of the darkness. These stories will evidence that reality and will balance the terror of what reigned yesterday in the man who committed the mass murders.

I pray for all of those who died yesterday, including the shooter. May God have mercy on all their souls and may perpetual Light shine upon each of them.

Peace,

Suzanne

Sorrow Unspeakable

"People say that when miracles happen: “I can’t believe it! It’s a miracle!” But that’s always the best place for miracles: God meets us — right where we don’t believe." ~ Ann Voskamp

Today is the Feast Day of St John of the Cross. This morning's tragedy in Connecticut has sunk the USA and Canada into a dark night of the soul. Details continue to unfold as to why a young man of twenty would enter into an elementary classroom and kill all the children, a teacher, a principal, and possibly even himself. The nations sit horrified at this unspeakable sorrow.

A friend posted on my Facebook page that she does not really believe in humanity any more as we continually fail to act with love. She has such a heart of compassion. She inspires me to hope most days. I refuse to let one act of terror darken the Light. That is not why that Baby came to be born. That Christ child knew the obscene violence of which we are capable. His family fled while a great weeping was heard for the innocent children massacred in his departure. He was later beaten and crucified. We humans have hearts that can love or destroy. As we prepare for the Baby's birth, it is hard to imagine that such an arrival would be greeted with horrific bloodshed.

I think we are all praying for a miracle tonight...a way to learn to love and not to fear. I know many whose faith is shaken. I think the days ahead will show what we are really made of as stories of forgiveness and compassion come forth. God meets us when we cannot believe. God meets us in places we are ashamed to be seen. God grant us a miracle. Let your mercy and love shine in this dark place. Remind us that the Babe was born to save us from despair.

Peace,

Suzanne

A New Wee Human

"When the poor and needy seek water...I the Lord will answer them." ~ Isaiah 41:17

Today I held this little man in my arms and marveled at the life of him. He arrived 2.5 weeks ago after much trauma to his mama. She was induced twice and in labour for three days before the doctors decided enough was enough and performed a c-section. He was a wee bit fussy when he came to me but soon settled serenely. I love fresh-born babies because they move around like they are still swimming in the womb and make these funky faces. I love to breathe them in and imagine that God sent them off with a hug and a kiss, whispering, "Go in peace and LIVE." God, who created us, will provide what we need. God will answer us in a way that will suffice. God who was once human gets it.

As I watched this little tyke rest in my embrace, I could not help but think about what it might be like to hold the Christ child and have him fall asleep gently and peacefully in my arms. What a gift we are offered this time of year! I am grateful for this moment during Advent as I wait to reflect on the vulnerability of a wee one, of the dependency of an infant, of the powerlessness of a baby. Such a grace to glimpse how great a gift was given!

Peace,

Suzanne

We Can Be Juan

"O God, Father of mercies, who placed your people under the singular protection of your Son's most holy Mother, grant that all who invoke the Blessed Virgin of Guadalupe, may seek with ever more lively faith the progress of peoples in the ways of justice and of peace." ~ from today's Collect

Today is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe. I love the story of how the Virgin Mary appeared to a peasant man in Mexico named Juan Diego and used him as an instrument to demonstrate God's glory. Calling him by name, she spoke to him in his own language. She transformed his ordinary cloak into a miracle that has survived 500 years as a testimony to their encounter. His story brought a bishop of disbelief to his knees.

God comes to us in the unlikely, in the unthinkable, in the inconceivable. God uses a language that we understand and appears in a way that we can recognize the Holy. We are never the same after that moment. Juan was doing nothing extraordinary when the Blessed Mother appeared to him. He was simply going about his day when his whole reality would change. The encounter would alter how people thought about poor people and their worthiness for centuries. The story would become known as a story of peace and justice.

We can all be Juan Diegos. In our daily life, we need to be prepared to recognize the Holy when it calls us by name. We need to open our hearts to say yes, as Mary and Juan did, to the possibility that something bigger at work needs us. If we accept what is being asked of us, who knows what might happen and how huge of an impact it will have? However, we should not let ourselves get distracted by that. Our task is just to keep our eyes on the Holy in life. The rest is up to God.

Peace,

Suzanne

Pass Through to the Newness

"We as Advent pilgrims on the way to the manger--to the great newness that the child brings--must allow ourselves to pass through the desert where John is preaching." ~ Paul H. Harkness, Our Journey to the Cradle

We are pilgrims on a journey to the stable during Advent. We walk with our eyes on the road, following in the footsteps of those who have trudged here first. Mary and Joseph plugged along on the donkey. I am sure Mary was exhausted and in need of comfortable surroundings. Joseph must have been beside himself with guilt and concern, wishing that his wife did not have to suffer so much. The shepherds had to move beyond their fears to make their journey to that manger. Who knows how long they talked about the star, angels and a baby for after that visit? They must have had more than one night when looking up to the heavens they wondered what really had happened that wondrous night. The wise men too made their way to the humble place where the Christ child lay. Did they puzzle over the events that led them there? Did they know that their steps of faith would soon turn upside down the lives of so many? I am curious sometimes if the innkeeper found his way to the cave and peered in to see if the couple he had turned away was alright.

We come face to face with ourselves in the desert before reaching the cradle in the stable. We encounter emotions that we could hide or run from but the journey of Advent is one that should lead to newness and hope. We acknowledge the longing in our hearts and come to the stable with openness for transformation. May we learn to lay down all that hinders us on the journey through the desert and arrive empty-handed to receive the Christ child.

Peace,

Suzanne

Rejoice and Blossom

"The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad, the desert shall rejoice and blossom; like the crocus it shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice with joy and singing." ~ Isaiah 35:1

Advent is a time for waiting and as I wait I am immersing myself in prayer and spiritual reading. The Advent daily readings remind me of joy and beauty. Today's reading from Isaiah paints a vivid picture of what life lived in faith can be to someone. Weak hands will be strengthened, feeble knees made firm. The ongoing assurance of not needing to be afraid arises again. Miracles will happen. Streams in the desert will overflow. All is grace. Joy will be obtained.

I have discovered a beautiful blog, http://aholyexperience.com, that has also become an Advent prayer moment. Tonight I am listening to Ann being interviewed about her writing of 10,000 gifts and her blog. She writes the blog with no care as to who reads it because she writes it to herself. Her faith inspires me and moves me to a place of greater wholeness. During the interview she says that "Art is never about applause. It's about coming to an altar." The gift is laid down, back from where it came, to be used as the Giver determines. The lesson is ready to be learned--a dying to self, a stripping away of my needs and desires. Rather the goal is to be less--less of me and more of God. I want to be free to be the vessel that God wants me to be as I begin to explore my writing and photography. As I wait, I hold the dreams and hopes that are beginning to emerge lightly.

I pray that your desert places are blossoming this Advent and that your soul is filled with joy and singing.

Peace,

Suzanne

Shouts of Joy

"The Lord has done great things for us; we are filled with joy." ~ Psalm 126:3

This is Week Two in Advent, Week Two of waiting, longing, rejoicing. The readings are wonderful. We hear that we should take off the garment of sorrow and affliction and instead don forever the beauty of the glory from God. In fact, the reading from Baruch seems perfect for the celebration of Hanukkah with its promise that God will lead Israel with joy, in the light of his glory.

The Psalm is a joyful reminder that this is not a sad time, but a celebratory event. The tears are spent; now is the time to return with shouts of joy. This business of readying must include recognizing all the good that God has done and will continue to do for us. As we hear in the second reading from Philippians, our love should overflow. We will be given full insight for discernment and are expected to reaming pure and blameless. The Incarnate One is coming. We must be able to recognize the Disguised One now in those around us, and how better to greet this One then with shouts of joy.

I suppose another way might be the method John the Baptist uses in the Gospel reading. Prepare the way! Our voices might seem like we cry out in the wilderness in today's world. Our voices might fall on ears unwilling and unable to hear us. However, the carrots that John dangles are exquisite: crooked made straight, valleys filled, mountains made low, all flesh shall see salvation. That would still be a reason to shout for joy.

I try not to get too attached to my cloak of sorrow. I love the concept of wearing the beauty of glory forever. Perhaps part of preparing the way is rooting out the afflictions and at least tentatively trying on the glory. Can we wait with such a thought as our reality?

Peace,

Suzanne

Madre

"Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to thy word." ~ Luke 1:38

As we wait these weeks of Advent, how are our hearts surviving? This morning at the Feast Day celebration of the Immaculate Conception--a day that recognizes Mary's conception--the Jesuit from Latin America closed the mass by singing a moving song to Madre. His voice is rich and his love for Mary came through.

Afterwards, some religious sisters I know insisted that I join their community for lunch and many people commented on his passion during that song. Waiting is not meant to be a passive activity. Waiting should be accompanied by terms like with bated breath or to exhale. The good Jesuit captured the essence of waiting as he poured his soul into that song. Mary is one of our models on how to wait. I am sure hundreds of emotions must have poured over her as she waited to reach for the Life within her and cradle Him in her arms.

I have always admired Mary's ability to respond with "Let it be done..." I do not always respond so graciously...which is why Mary is full of grace and I am not. I want to be some days. I want to have hands and heart wide open to all God asks of me. I do not always succeed in the outcome. God knows my heart. I believe God knows that waiting is hard for most of us. God was a kid once, right? Even as an adult, waiting is a challenge. To stand in the not yet space requires much grace and patience.

How is your waiting going as we enter Week Two of Advent? May you be blessed with grace for the remaining journey.

Peace,

Suzanne

Rejoice in God's Peace

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." ~ Philippians 4:6

Taize prayer has soothed my weary soul on a number of occasions. Tonight was no different. I went with a lot on my heart. I sat before the icon of Mary and the Christ child and wanted to melt into a different time and space. I could imagine the "foldable" or expanding chapel in Taize and suddenly I was there and that great pull of the Spirit was present. I could feel myself being gently drawn down to the ground by Her power and mercy, like a strong magnet. I opened my eyes and stared back at the flickering candles in this chapel where I sat and I knew that God was with me yet. Emmanuel had not abandoned me in this Advent journey.

I thought of my dear dad and how long he has struggled with his pain. I wish I could take it away from him. He so rarely complains that when he does I comprehend the seriousness of what he is saying. I know that a recent test did not go well for him and I am sure that the doctors and nurses present were at a loss to explain why he had experienced such an odd reaction to the procedure. He was still reeling from its effect when I spoke to him.

I thought of my uncle and his family, devastated at the news regarding his cancer. Christmas waiting took a nosedive for them this week. How unfair! Yet amongst the frustration and dread of the inevitable comes humor and a desire to live until living is done. Hope is an odd entity. The outcome does not always work in one's favour.

Tonight I had to read the passage from Philippians 4:4-7 and I felt as if I stumbled over the words as I proclaimed them. Rejoice? I was unsure I could. Again, I say, rejoice. God is pushy sometimes. I had heard the first time but I was unwilling. Enough already I thought...ok then, You win. I soften, giving into the demand. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. My gentleness? I feel so vulnerable right now. Are those words interchangeable? Then comes the reassurance: The Lord is near. Yes, I do not doubt this. Emmanuel is not far. He is here with me, in me. I cannot separate myself from Him. There is the promise of peace--of not to worry about anything, that the peace of God which surpasses understanding will guard my heart, even in my vulnerability. God promises and those promises are not always understood by our human minds but I have learned to trust in them, even if I initially do not see what I was hoping for.

Then, of course, are those words that could slide in under the radar if I am not paying full attention: supplication with thanksgiving. Even in the pain, I am to be grateful. At the very least, I must thank God for hearing my prayer, and for knowing my needs even before I utter them. At the most, I have to appreciate the greatest gift God gave me in the form of the Son, who became like me--human, vulnerable, joyful, gentle. At moments when life scares me and threatens my stability, I can remember God knows. God was there first. God has been there. God can be there with me now and I know that I will get through. I know that God will hold me just as I long to hold the Christ Child each night in my prayer times.

We are blessed more than we know. I rejoice in a God who guards my heart, even though I know it might be broken into tiny pieces. I rejoice in a God who offers me a listening ear and reminds me of the place of grace in which I stand to know that I have a God who wants to know my heart. I will worry about everything as it is my nature, but hopefully I will hear those words of reassurance not to just when I need them. Again, I say, rejoice.

Peace,

Suzanne

Bathing in Beauty

"We do not want merely to see beauty, though God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words--to be united with the beauty we see, to pass it on, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." ~ C.S. Lewis

Beauty distracts me daily. I breathe it in. I fixate on it. I long to melt into it. The stunning sunrises, the long prairie sunsets, the glistening of the sun on the snow, the laughter of a child, the hawk as it soars overhead, the warmth of an email filled with love, the twinkling Christmas lights, the joyous memory of a friend who knows me deeply--these all mesmerize me. My heart expands in those moments. Something mystical and inexplicable occurs. Lewis is right: articulating that experience is sometimes near impossible.

I am starting my day in a darkened living room, with the gentle glow of the Christmas lights...white and purple, before a little creche scene of the Holy Family. In the quietness of this setting, the daily readings set my day in motion. My soul settles into a serene state and it is as if I have become part of beauty. I end each day standing before the same scene, hands outstretched in front of the Christ Child, reviewing my day, asking Christ to show me where he was--where I saw Him and where I missed Him. I ask myself what I need to lay down before I can take up this Child and hold Him this night, to receive Him with open arms. This Son is so bright and spectacular that I can hardly take my eyes off Him in these final moments of my day. His beauty bathes me in a Light that I never want to stop shining on me. I ask gently that He go and prepare the day ahead of me, before I carefully lay Him back in Mary's arms.

To be united with Christ as a vulnerable baby, as the human person during these Advent weeks is a blessing. To stand before the Divinity of this child is reassuring. My life is in His hands. To live fully I must embrace His humanity and his divinity and I must also accept my own humanity and divinity. This is beauty. This is sheer sacredness. This is Advent joy.

Peace,

Suzanne

Goma Grief

"Some People Come In Your Life As Blessings,
And Others Come In Your Life As Lessons..."
~Rumi

Advent...a time of waiting. I wait for word from a friend in Goma, DRC and wonder if she is safe, alive, fleeing. She is a template for joy. I met her when I was in Goma three years ago. She came in the dark and cold of night and we sat outside--her colleague and mine. They chatted; I tried hard to stay awake. I was so jet-lagged. Even in the dark, she shone brightly. We were to be in the dark again. This time it would be in Burundi during one of their infamous early "lights out" night. I remember her weariness on the journey but I could hear the hope in her voice as we chatted.

I feel in the dark now too. I think of how the Holy Family fled and feared for their lives. Is that what is happening to the people I know in Congo? How much can a people suffer? Christ knows that persecution and all that goes with it. On this side of heaven, I can only pray for the situation. May God help them.

I think sometimes people come into your life as both blessings and lessons. Zawadi, Sudok, and so many others....my heart is with yours. Be safe.

Peace,

Suzanne

Living Until the Last

"Live each day as if it's your last and one day, you'll be right." ~ Ron Culberson

Go ahead and chuckle, but it is true. Live fully each day and be glad, because one day, it will be the last one and I suspect that you will have few regrets. I was as a play last night and the theme was one of finding oneself. It was a family in which many secrets had been hidden and when there were revealed a transformation happened.

The premise of the play was that the family had had a holy experience and later discovered that the mystical moment had been staged and was anything but sacred at first glance. Yet, upon reflection, the characters begin to realize that the truth was more sacred than the illusion that they had grown up with. The healing power of the truth was better than the fairy tale they had clung to.

Live each day and be prepared to be surprised at curve balls tossed your way. Life is too short and too unexpected to make other plans in my opinion.

Peace,

Suzanne

Growing Shade

"The one who plants the tree rarely enjoys its shade." ~ John Izzo

I keep walking through doors wondering where they will lead me. Last night I went to the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers convention here because a friend of mine had posted something about it on Facebook and I thought I might benefit from it. It was a huge learning curve for me and totally outside my comfort zone. I was probably the only semi-introverted person in the room.

Everyone else seemed extroverted and party person-ish. I however did meet some new people and managed to greatly enjoy myself once the event started. The speakers were, predictably, top-notch. John Izzo followed local entertainer Al Simmons who was hilarious per usual. Izzo was impeccable, giving a thought-provoking speech that rang true for me. One of the statements he made was that we make a difference even when we don't know it--we plant the seed but don't see the outcome.

I have been thinking about this a wee bit, and wondering too, about the number of seeds planted within me that are beginning to blossom, and curious as to who planted some of them. I don't know every single person who should be sitting in my shade but I thank them all.

Izzo had lots of great tips for life and stepping up to offer your gifts. He asked a question: What part of you are your clients not getting to enjoy because you are holding back? I had to think of the people on my caseload, at my work place, and in my church who don't get to see all the goodness I could bring to something.

He said lots of things I had heard before and some that confirmed the direction I was walking in. He encouraged us to weigh in on the big issues of our time when we address audiences and I made a big mental check mark for the Archdiocese event where I talked about trafficked and exploited females. I loved that he insisted that we be naive enough to believe that we can change the world. We just have to believe in our bigness.

As you grow, what shade are you providing for people?

Peace,

Suzanne

Advent Arrival

"The days are surely coming, says the Lord..." Jeremiah 33:14

Ah, Advent....waiting...for the Lord, for the day, to come. The readings of this first Sunday are not cheery. They do not really paint a Hallmark card photo of the Christmas we expect. No, instead they warn us that justice and righteousness will be executed, that our hearts should be strengthened in holiness so that we can stand blameless before our God, and and we should be on guard and alert at all times. That is a whole lot of commands that seem to bear grave consequences if unfilled.

The priest this morning told a story that he credited to Annie Dillard, though I have heard it cited to another writer. He talked about how Annie was watching a butterfly emerge slowly from its cocoon when she had the idea to warm it using a flame. The heat did indeed quicken the process but to her horror, the wings of the butterfly crumpled and it died because it had not taken the time required to be "reborn" properly.

Advent reminds us of this gift of waiting, in the dark spaces, in the rough spaces, in the mess, in the times of chastisement, and in the times of great fear. Advent also helps us recall why we are waiting--to embrace the child Jesus who has come to save us and free us from all of these things. Christmas is a great gift for many reasons, but today, the readings remind us that the days are surely coming...and we will be with Jesus. That is something to anticipate joyfully.

Peace,

Suzanne

Gathering Great Gratitude

"Why bother keeping a gratitude list of His gifts?" ~ Ann Voscamp

I had an almost perfect day! The only downside was the $50 winterization deal on my car turned out to be way more than that due to needing new brakes. I suppose if I look on the bright side of it, they were in pretty bad condition and might have failed at any time so Someone was looking out for me...certainly not my regular mechanic though.

I had a fantastic reflexology appointment with my good friend Diane who tried some ear reflexology for the first time on me. I woke up congested and hoped I was not getting too sick. She worked on that too and tonight I am just a wee bit congested on my left side but breathing well on the right side. I am sneezing up a storm though but feel pretty good, all things considered. I also feel quite strong in my body, as if something shifted in a good way today. I am intrigued with how the body works. My ears were very sensitive in places--who knew that the points in an ear could heal other parts of the body?

From there I met a friend who is feeding my addiction to a certain coffeehouse's salted caramel hot chocolate. We had a long chat, much overdue. I feel caught up with him and am so grateful for the time. Afterwards I met another friend for supper where we talked of her trip to Asia which was fascinating and I lingered in my mind over her photos of places where I had been in the spring. I loved the colours and the stories that accompanied her photos.

I came home and listened to Day 1 of the musical Advent calendar a friend in Britain sent me. I love the creativity of this time of year.

Voscamp says that keeping a gratitude list will increase your joy by 25%. That sounds like a pretty amazing benefit, don't you think? What are you grateful for this day?

Peace,

Suzanne

The Great Deceiver

“Therefore do not deceive yourself! Of all deceivers fear most yourself!” ~ Søren Kierkegaard

I have been reflecting lately on how we deceive ourselves when we cannot face our fears. I have a couple of friends who talk in circles sometimes when I listen to them. It has made me aware of my own limitations in letting go of false hopes and unrealistic dreams.

I wish I were freer to walk away from those emotions that bind me to ungodly desires and knock me off the path I should be walking. I have to trust sometimes that I stay to learn a lesson or to help someone else move to a better place but I also need to learn when I have overstayed.

What do you need to free yourself of self-deception?

Peace,

Suzanne

Kiss the World

One regret, dear world,
That I am determined not to have
When I am lying on my deathbed
Is that
I did not kiss you enough.

~Hafiz

Tonight I drove through sparkling snow and neighbourhoods with Christmas lights and breathed in winter. I love life. I am grateful for the love affair I have with the life I have been gifted.

A friend sent me a song called Kiss the World Beautiful by Martyn Joseph when I posted the Hazif quote on Facebook. The title resonated within me. I want to kiss the world beautiful, embrace the joy of each day, and know that each person I meet is a blessing if I choose to look deep enough.

I want to face death, knowing that I sucked the marrow from life, that I completely devoured everything on the plate I was offered, and asked for dessert when I was done.

How about you? Are you kissing the world enough?

Peace,

Suzanne

Big Yourself

“Don't belittle yourself. Be BIG yourself.” ~ Corita Kent

I had a funny experience today. If you follow my blog, you will know that I was a bit disappointed in the feedback that I received during the retreat I led last weekend. This morning I returned a phone call from someone who was at the retreat who had called me while I was away. She was calling to let me know that the session was the BEST EVER that the community had had in her mind and wondered if we might meet to discuss some further collaboration.

I was stunned because I had not been able to shake the criticism and now she was telling me how amazing the work I created was. In preparing, I believed in the product I was creating. However, at some point I relinquished the reality to someone else's opinion. I did not hold to my own truth, the prayers I had offered up, nor that God was the real Creator of the day.

I must somehow still learn to believe in my gifts and that the Trinity is in control. I am grateful for the lessons learned in these past few days.

Peace,

Suzanne

Lost and Learning

"To get lost is to learn the way." ~Swahili Proverb

Tonight I sat in on a friend's university class and loved how casual it was. I wondered if that is what a master's level class might be like. I was intrigued by the discussions and sometimes felt that I was a wee bit lost because I had not had the whole course content in which to place our discussion. However it was good to sometimes be lost, humbling even, as I am seen as an authority on the topic. We all have so much to learn. I am grateful for the opportunity given me tonight.

Peace,

Suzanne

Being Kind

"How hard is it to be kind?" ~ friend today

I had lunch with someone I used to work with many years ago. This was the question she was posing to me as she explored how people can be mean. I think she is right. How hard can it be to be kind instead of nasty?

I am going to try to be kinder than normal for the next while. I know I am a kind person but even if kind people are kinder, than others might be challenged to follow suit. What do you think? Can you be kinder than usual too?

Peace,

Suzanne

Christ as Truthful King

"Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice." ~ John 18:37

Truth is an abstract thought for some I think. If I stay quiet and pray diligently, the truth can be quite loud for me. Some days even if I don't do this, the truth is still able to whisper in my ear and get my attention.

The trouble with truth though is that it can be different in any given circumstance for two people. What then? What happens when two people believe two very different concepts and yet each believes theirs to be the truth?

Well, perhaps then you end up in a predicament as Jesus did. Christ as King is the Feast we celebrate today to end ordinary time. Pilate stands questioning him in today's Gospel and his answers are mysterious and disturbing. What is this truth to which we should belong? Dare we do it? Dare we stand in the Light and say yes?

This church year ends and a journey through Advent begins. We come to the stable with the knowledge that the King, born a child, will be crucified and die. That is some awesome truth to ponder in these next weeks.

Peace,

Suzanne

Pac-Man Nigglies

“No matter how much light I carry within me, there will always be times of feeling lost, being confused, seeking direction. It is the way of the human heart.” ~ Joyce Rupp

I am not sure how much light I do carry within me but I think it is quite a bit. I like to believe that we all are given lots. Some days though the darkness niggles away at the light. Today I gave a retreat and initially i thought it was going well. Then I got a wee bit of negative feedback and all the positive words that were said fell out of my head. The criticism ran around like Pac-Man creatures in my brain, gobbling up all the good stuff.

I believe still that I have walked through this door for a reason and so trust that the Light is in control. I am feeling glad to be done a hectic planning stage for awhile and look forward to seeing friends in the coming weeks.

The human heart is complicated. I feel a strong need to connect with friends to recover from the commitments I have had for weeks.I just need to chill.

Peace,

Suzanne

Seek Beauty

"Beauty appears to all in the same way, but is silent to one and speaks to another....They understand it who compare the voice received on the outside with the truth that lies within." ~ The Confessions of St. Augustine (adapted)

Beauty...we all have the opportunity to see it but we don't always. I have been thinking lately a lot about beauty. This morning as I was driving to an early meeting I saw something that distracted me again and had to remind myself to keep driving so that I would not be too late for the meeting. Sometimes I just want to soak beauty in.

I am part crow, I joke. I like shiny, sparkly things. I remember one summer hiking through the forest on an island off the mainland of British Columbia when a particle of sap that resembled a diamond caught my eye. I stood there for a moment, marveling. How is it that something so minute could capture me? My friend who was ahead of me had either missed it or ignored it.

A good friend of mine and I used to hike with two men. They would walk and not talk, waiting for us to catch up. My friend and I would meander, examining ferns, gazing at flowers, beholding beauty at each step. We would come upon our men folk who I am sure embraced beauty in their own way and we would laugh at each other and how we arrived at the same spot.

I think there is something beautiful too about that gift of knowing the truth that lies within. I remember one of those hikes where the men waited for us by the rushing waters. I arrived and in that moment knew that I was blessed beyond measure by these three people. The beauty was not just in the scenery around us, but in the absolute comfort and love held in these relationships.

Seek beauty. Find truth. Trust the voice.

Peace,

Suzanne

Changes

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” ~ Wayne W. Dyer

Tonight at my small group, two of the members had a major change happen to them. The news came as a bit of a shock but after much discussion, we had to agree that it is the best thing for the family. Earlier in the day, a colleague of mine announced her retirement. Lots of changes coming for folks.

I think sometimes how we frame life helps how we face the changes that are presented.

Peace,

Suzanne

Letting the Light In

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi

I saw this quote posted on Facebook and liked it. I think our brokenness is also a place of grace. We have a divine encounter that we might not have otherwise experienced. In the darkness, there is Light. Within the wound, there is healing. The scars remain to remind us of the lessons learned. We are perhaps never more within the embrace of grace as when we do not stand on our own power.

Peace,

Suzanne

Distracted by Beauty

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” ~ Confucius

I have been distracted by beauty lately. When I was on my retreat last weekend, I was marveling at the sparkle of the snow in the evening light. So distracted was I that I wandered off the path a wee bit, slipped and fell. Hence, my phrase was born--distracted by beauty.

Yesterday, I was a passenger as my colleague drove down the Trans-Canada which was a good thing because it was a spectacular day (I am still mad at myself for not having a camera with me) where the trees were covered with hoarfrost. Eventually the fog lifted and the sun came out, setting the world ablaze with glimmering. I was beside myself with joy.

Tonight after a wonderful family meeting out at one of my favourite schools, I drove home in the dimming light. One of the reasons I proudly claim to be a prairie girl is that I know that few places can compete with the sunsets we have here. Tonight was no exception. I had to remind myself to watch the road ahead of me and not keep my eyes on the rearview mirror and the fiery ball scorching the horizon, sending orange and pink flames over the fields. I was so grateful to witness such glory!

Do you ever find yourself distracted by beauty?

Peace,

Suzanne

Holy Humanity!

"Our humanity is holy. We are God's vessels for love in the world. We are called, along side Mary and John the Baptist, to let our lives point to Jesus, to allow God to be present to us in the mess, even when we would rather he just took the mess away." ~ Leah Perrault, Theology of the Body for Every Body

As I continue to prepare for the retreat on Saturday, I keep finding some good material for it. Leah and I presented at the Archdiocesan event last month. I bought her book and only last night picked it up last night. I then discovered it was perfect for the retreat.

I could not help but think of my dear departed Fr. Brian who always talked about the Incarnation and the messiness of Christmas. I am going to try to pull this all together in the next day or two. There are still a number of things stumbling around in my brain, waving for my attention. I see that it has great potential to be a wonderful retreat though. I think embracing our humanity and divinity is a life-long goal. Even tonight as I introduced a speaker at an event, I could not help but wish I had been more articulate. Later chatting with people, they were so impressed with what I had said. Funny how we view ourselves.

Do you ever think about how divinity lives within the vessel of humanity?

Peace,

Suzanne

Eschatology

"At that time Michael, the great prince, the protector of your people, shall arise." ~ Daniel 12:1

Eschatology is a fancy word...I like it. The reading today fits into the genre of this word: it is the study of the end of the world. As we prepare for the first coming of Christ during Advent, we reflect on the Second Coming and Judgement Day. Well, if I was so inclined I would. I know that next month is supposed to bring the end of the world with all the number 12s that will appear. Really, I am too busy living to think about not being able to schedule a coffee date at the end of December.

Michael, that great prince, is a majestic creature that is busy protecting me and others who believe in his great power. I am grateful for the angels in my life that keep watch over me. Perhaps that is why living each day is what is on my mind, and not worrying about the end times. I want to live until I go Home.

Peace,

Suzanne

Listen for Your Call

"A calling is something you never stop listening for." ~ Ann Voskamp

I think for most of my adult life I have struggled with my calling. When I read this quote, it stopped me in my tracks. I have never stopped listening for my calling...ever. I think what I am learning lately though is that the call comes daily. I am less caught up in the overall "what am I supposed to do with my life, God?" than in the "what shall I do with You today?"

Peace,

Suzanne

Towards the Real Light

"Too many of us panic in the dark. We don't understand that it's a holy dark and that the idea is to surrender to it and journey towards the real light." ~ Sue Monk Kidd

I am preparing an Advent retreat for the L'Arche community here. I am playing with the themes of being both human and divine, gifts, and stars. I think I am going to use this quote as part of the day. There are days when we let the dark overcome us, and we forget that the Light came so that we would not be. Sometimes though, we stand in a dark that transforms us because we encounter our humanity, our frailty, and our shadow. If we can surrender to it, we can learn lessons that we might not otherwise learn if we flee from the dark.

I want to journey to the real Light, the Light that heals me, that changes me at my core, that helps me to embrace my humanity while helping me to comprehend that I come from the Divine, created in God's image. I find myself in a dark forest some days confronting my humanity but I have to see the beauty of that, too. I have to look for the cobwebs that catch a glint of the Light and make me gasp at their beauty. I have to wonder with awe about the mysteries I discover in this place where Light must struggle to penetrate. Mostly, I have to believe that this holy dark place is not my destination; it is simply part of a journey on my way to the final resting place.

Believe. You are still on the way to a bright place of real Light, where Love lives.

Peace,

Suzanne

Go Fly A Kite

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country." ~ Anais Nin

I am still sorting through my life these days. It is as if I can watch it in awe, gratitude welling up, seeing life unfold like a kite in the air, dancing, riding the currents, sometimes it flutters down, other times it floats strong and free. A breath-taking sight really!

I hold so many dreams still in my heart. I want to throw them up into the sky and watch them take wing. I suspect they would fly unencumbered and delight those that catch a glimpse. Wouldn't it be marvelous if we all surrendered our dreams to God and let them soar?

Peace,

Suzanne

On the Threshold

"Sometimes you don’t know when you’re taking the first step through a door until you’re already inside.” ~ Ann Voskamp

I think sometimes when we walk in faith, we have no idea where it will take us. Lately, I feel as if doors have been flinging open and I keep walking through, wondering what next. Sometimes, as Voskamp says, I find myself having crossed a threshold and inside of something new and wonderful, having arrived at a place I did not set out to land. All I can do is stand there and explore, grateful for the destination and the One who led me to it.

I found this amazing video clip on YouTube the other day because I had clicked on a website of a woman who had spoken at MoMondays and she had this link to someone else. I have watched the video a dozen times since finding it 24 hours ago. I find it stunning both in words and images and inspirational. I want to create something like it myself. Check out the link if you can here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhOUaszMGvQ&feature=player_embedded and see if you do not find it a happy way to spend a few minutes in our busy world.

How willing are you to walk through a door that is opening in your life?

Peace,

Suzanne