I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and you will be liked and you will have people to love and to like in return. And most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), I hope that you will, when you need to be, be wise and that you will always be kind.
I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
~ Neil Gaiman
When I look at some of my photos from my time in DRC and the rest of my African adventure I see incredible joy on my face. Perhaps it was because I knew I was doing something and not afraid to make mistakes. This quote is long but as I said to the person who sent part of it to me today, I think it is stunningly beautiful. I googled Neil Gaiman because I did not know who he was and discovered he is an award-winning writer and comic creator. The first paragraph was written a decade ago, the next five years ago, and the last were posted yesterday on his journal page.
As I sit down to put my hopes and dreams for the New Year on a page, I thought I might use this as a guide. I sincerely hope my year is filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I am a dreamer by nature and a believer that miracles await you every single day if you are attentive.
I am reading once again for the love of reading. This morning I stayed in bed until shortly after noon, absorbed in Little Bee, excited that it was the kind of book that I hoped to write one day. In fact, I have been toying with a similar style of plot and had never really seen one like it until I started this book. This might help me write a book.
I would love to kiss someone who thinks I am wonderful—and me him. Romance is back on my resolution list this year. I will continue to try new things and maybe even surprise myself in the doing.
I want to live an authentic life and so will try to be more me and less someone I am not. I would like this year to experiment a little with my photography and have purchased a class in January from a professional photographer. That may be the area where I make mistakes and yet create at the same time. It should be exciting.
I would like to dream dangerously and outrageously and not let my fears hold me back. I want to push the envelope even more than I do and step courageously beyond my comfort zone. I do not want my mistakes to hold me back or crush my motivation or paralyze me. I want to live free of all that binds me. I hope that in doing so I am changing myself and those around me in positive ways. I pray that I can be a wiser, gentler, kinder person in all that I do.
Since my posting last night, I realize that I do need to volunteer to do something fun. I have been like a dog with a bone since reading that phrase. It is not that I do not have fun in my life but the service element seems to be lacking. I want to keep an eye out for what this could be. I am not exactly sure yet.
I plan on morphing this body of mine into a new creation this year. I am hoping that the gym will get me there. Eating healthier will be another mission, as soon as I devour all the chocolate that is in the house right now. My goal is to lose at least 15 pounds in the first six months of the year.
My prayer life needs some work. Having seen The Way recently, my desire to walk El Camino is renewed. One day, I hope it will be a reality for me. The Chemin Neuf Community provides a haven for me. I pray that my spiritual home will become a place of peace on this day of peace. I am tired of feeling out of place and angry there.
Travel is always a longing in my life. I look forward to checking off Asia from my “continents I have been to” list with my spring trip to Hong Kong, Singapore and Bali. In July I will be in Calgary for a PD session, and there is talk of a family reunion in Saskatchewan. I really should ask some of my relatives if they have heard anything. For those of you reading this, maybe respond by email if you know something. I do not have any major trips planned other than those, although there is talk of moving the Minneapolis trek to Iowa this summer.
My health issues are still a mystery in lots of ways. I still suspect that doctors have not got the whole puzzle yet but in the meantime, I want to avoid some of the family history diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure and heart issues. If something significant were discovered about my current issues that could relieve the residual pain and limitations I would be thrilled.
I pray for peace at work. I have mentioned to my boss that I am interested in pursuing something that she has asked the team to think about. I will have to see what comes of this. She was pleasantly surprised. I also have decided to mentor the interpreting team into my role so that others can understand better what I do and that I may discover new ways of looking at my job through the eyes of others.
I contemplate buying a home because I am still unhappy here but rent is high so moving does not seem to resolve the issue. I want to be able to entertain more and feel more comfortable than I do here. A home should be a sanctuary and that is not how I feel about living here.
I hope to do some crazy, unexpected thing this year that people will rejoice with me about. I have no idea what it will be but I want to be open to doing it. I want to serve in a new way—perhaps in the prison ministry that I now coordinate but doing something else. One idea is to provide ex-offenders the opportunity to do the Finding God in the Dark series, which uses films to learn about the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.
I probably have more dreams and goals in my heart, mind and spirit but that is more than enough to tackle. I am being overly ambitious here. Mostly, I guess I trust that God has plans for me, plans to bring about a wonderful future of peace and joy. Who could ask for anything more?
Peace,
Suzanne
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