As I flipped through Stephanie’s new book after her launch last night, I came across this quote. It is October and I work in the education system. Every person working in a school right now that I know is fairly tired from the constant pace since we reconvened classes. I found myself exhausted this week. I have started up other activities as well and the first “bug” of the season has finally snagged me. I have a recurring headache and bouts of sneezing that remind me that I am not 100% well.
For two years I did not use the B word. I was not busy. I was content to chill after taking a long time to wrap up my university degree. However, I like to be active. I like my life to be full and thus I have committed myself again to a number of projects. Socially, I am also engaged. Tonight I was double-booked and I chose to just stay home because tomorrow is a full, yet hopefully relaxing, day. I would rather be well than stressed. I released the self-induced pressure of attending either public event and relaxed at home instead. Good move!
For some time, I notice that people greet me with “are you as busy as ever?” When I have said no these past two years, I do not think people really believed me. I need to be less busy. I want to be more relaxed and active. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but I can feel that the pace of my life this fall is a little more hectic than I imagined. I am going to sleep on this and see if, like Stephanie, I can be happily steady instead of busy. Semantics are an interesting reframing tool.
This morning, in a workshop, one of the participants nudged me and showed me his Blackberry message. Reg Alcock had died suddenly, collapsing at the airport on his way to Northern Manitoba. This seems like one more of those wake up calls to me. I must have met Reg just about twenty-five years ago before he was in the political limelight. I liked him then. I did not like him so much the last time I saw him on TV during a political debate. He lost his seat that year and I remember thinking that he deserved to. In my mind, he had lost his bearings. The job had taken a toll on him and made him a mean-spirited person. Busy is not always good, especially when it takes away your ability to stay grounded and take time out for reflection.
I keep thinking about how being in the wrong job is a sin. Last night, the friend who accompanied me to the book launch shared her perspective on how she is getting through this school year. She was thinking of how hostages get through their ordeals and how the success sometimes comes in rising above what is going on around you and creating a world in which you can live in. She is creating a happy work environment for herself. Work is a good part of how you spend your life. Oftentimes, it is a busy way to spend your life. It is time to rethink how work depletes my energy when I want to be engaged with life beyond the workday. I have got lots to think about as I head on retreat tomorrow. Yes, I am taking a time out. That is what will allow me to stop using the B word and starting saying life is good and I am engaged at just the right pace.
Peace,
Suzanne
No comments:
Post a Comment