What was that Morning Like?

Was it a morning like this....? ~ Jim Croegaert

I found out when I was in Kelowna that a Sandi Patti song that I play on Easter morning to celebrate was written by Jim Croegaert. I was surprised and yet not. Croegaert has written many of my favourite songs.

I think I first heard this song when my friend Barb shared it with me. Discernment, the 9 pm singing group at my church does it every Easter night. Easter does not seem like Easter without it.

One of the stories connected with this song is known only to a smaller group of people. At a point in my life, my friend Barb convinced me to take a clowning class with her. Violet and Twinkle were born. Twinkle aka Barb went on to a successful career. Violet aka moi was too shy to perform publicly very often but she has some memorable moments. One of these is attending a Triduum retreat weekend at what was the Villa Maria. It was one of her most powerful, transformative appearances.

On Easter Sunday, after infusing herself into the retreat up until that point with a mixture of humour and seriousness, Violet had her crowning moment. She hid in the sacristy of the little chapel while the retreatants gathered for what they thought would be a prayer time. Violet waited and then turned on the music to this song. She stepped out of the door and into the sanctuary. As she did so, she thought, “Just remember, you don’t Jesus is risen yet.” Suddenly, the enormity of the meaning of those words enveloped her and cut her to the depths. She wavered, trying to compose herself as a wave of sheer sorrow swept over her. She thought she would start sobbing and wondered if she should take a step backwards, back into the sacristy and compose herself. Then, from the audience, the small voice of the son of the director of the Villa, spoke, “Clown, sad.”

Yes, it was true. For the first time in my life, the meaning of Good Friday and Easter permeated my being. These two small words, softly and innocently spoken, got me back on track, and Violet stepped forward and began her liturgical dance. “Was it a morning like this when the sun still hid from Jerusalem? And Mary rose from her bed to tend the Lord she thought was dead.” Violet danced and ended triumphantly with Violet holding the linens high above her head. I was transformed as much as anyone watching that morning. The earth must have rejoiced to feel Jesus and pound that Christ had risen. Surely the grass must have sung for sheer joy!

Violet’s “performance” (though I would prefer to think of it as a prayer) was a huge success. The director caught up with me later and confessed in that opening moment, he was struck by the overwhelming sadness that Violet felt and almost started weeping himself. I think of that some Easter mornings—that great gift that is offered to us every year and I am humbled by the One who loves like no other.

Peace,

Suzanne

Parenting Ain't Easy

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson

I had a parent kind of day. One of the parents on my caseload had never met me before and I had been working with her child for about four years. She had asked the school to meet me.

For whatever reason, I was a little nervous. She was lovely though and we had a very good visit. I appreciated that. I was also able to observe a tender moment when at the end of the visit, she turned to her daughter and asked for a kiss before she left. The daughter momentarily balked but then gave her mom a loving kiss. I felt blessed to see that moment.

Later in the evening, I ran into a mom at the career fair who I know. She said that she wished she could sign like me and was considering entering the four-year training program so that she could. That opened a door for me to walk through and we had an excellent conversation.

Having a Deaf child is not easy for many people. Both these mothers are heavily involved with the lives of their children. They struggle with learning ASL and are torn over the decisions they are making for their children. There is never an easy answer because each child is different and one answer does not fit every child. I do know these two women are present to their children and their unique needs. Their love for their offspring is amazing to witness. That alone tells me they are on the right path.

Peace,

Suzanne

Thank you, thank you, very much!

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" ~William A. Ward

Tonight I had my Chemin Neuf prayer group. We were supposed to talk about where we were at in the here and now. My first thought was grateful. I have had a very wonderful few weeks.

I am still basking in the Kelowna warmth of friends, family and sun. I have renewed energy and a more centered feeling. I am excited about my Alaskan cruise. Mom got good news today about her skin cancer treatments being successful. I won a free coffee from Roll Up the Rim at Tim's (I know I don't drink coffee but it counts towards a hot chocolate too). Life is pretty darn good.

The more I talked, the more I found reasons to be thankful. That is a great place to end a day.

Peace,

Suzanne

Waiting and Wasting

I would I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. ~Bernard Berenson

Today I made a tactical error. I had noticed that my headlight was burned out so I thought I would pop into Canadian Tire and quickly get it changed. I ran over on my lunch hour and noticed the line up. One of the salespeople said, “No problem. We take appointments. Come back at 4:30.” Great, I thought. That is much more convenient.

Ah, wasted hours! How do you get them back? If only I had trusted that I could have popped into the store, bought a headlight and replaced it myself. Didn’t I take a mechanics course for women many moons ago? Didn’t I use to replace light bulbs before?

No, instead, I trusted that the store would be true to its word and I would be on my way within 10 minutes. Tick, tick, tick. After 30 minutes, I was getting ticked. After 60 minutes, I developed a tick. I mean, really, what was the problem?

I had sent a dozen emails, drafted a letter for my supervisor, and reworked my calendar. I was not going to waste valuable time while I waited. Nope, not me. I was going to be productive. Sigh. How many times is asking, “Is my car ready yet?” too many times? It is the equivalent to a child’s “are we there yet?”

I tried to be polite and then finally I just came and stood, looking at the salesman until he felt compelled to go in and ask when the car would be ready. I saw someone jump to life in the direction of my car. Was that a cape I saw? Super Mechanic to the rescue! Why had I not changed this sucker all on my own? I mean, even the temperatures cooperated as it was above zero.

“Can I just pay for this while I am waiting?” I asked, keeping my tone level. The reward came in the end: “No, it’s ok. I am pulling rank. There will be no charge.” The cost of my precious hour and a half: $5.95. Hmmmm...where is my hat and which corner should I be standing on?

Peace,

Suzanne

I Once was Blind

Then the man who was blind went and washed, and came back able to see. ~ John 9:7.

Today’s Gospel reading is about the blind man who Jesus healed. It is an interesting story that begins with blame: Who sinned? This man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus, of course, sees things differently. Why is it though that we are so quick to blame and judge? As the story progresses these people who can physically see again have narrow vision, refusing to believe that this man who can now see is the same one who was once blind. They haul in his parents, who also refuse to rejoice at the man’s healing. The one with new vision now announces that Jesus is from God, believing in him and all he is.

My challenge in this reading is to see with new eyes, eyes that God has given me. I prefer sometimes to see through my own vision, distorted as it gets some days. Yesterday, I was having a bad glasses day. Nothing seemed to get them clean. I was frustrated at living in a blurry world. When we use our spiritual eyes, we can see clearly. Perhaps we can even see without blame or judgment. We can seek out the goodness and blessings around us instead of the negativity and doom.

Years ago when I was invited to go into a sweat lodge with a friend, I prayed beforehand, asking for a sign that I was indeed to do this. After offering my tobacco, I looked up and saw a gorgeous red-tailed hawk circling above me. It flashed its red tail at me, as if to beckon me to come on the journey. Hawks, like eagles, have strong vision. Since that offering, some days when I am driving and wonder if I have lost my way or doubt that I am on the right road, a hawk or eagle will appear and I know all is well.

When we look for spiritual signs, we see rightly. When we ask for a view from God’s perspective, we see things that we never would see otherwise. When we have a vision that is not our own, but belongs to the One who wants healing and wholeness, miracles happen. May you be given eyes that see this day.

Peace,

Suzanne

Exercise Caution

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres is hilarious! I worked out this afternoon after a three-week break from my Pilates class. I think I hurt my back somehow. Drat!! I will require a soak in a hot bath before this evening is done. It was only yesterday that I had a massage to make me feel great. Oh well! Such is life. Maybe Tai Chi will help on Monday, too.

Why is it that many of us avoid working out? I am doing this 40-day Change Your Habits, Change Your Life program. I did better on vacation last week than I am doing now that I am back home. What is up with that? Like Ellen, I find I have time to do things like stare at the ceiling, watch TV, think about exercise, search online to book a Pilates class, and check out the Groupon discounts for new exercise places, but do I actually do it? Well, that is another story. Though I must admit I did buy a 20-visit pass from TeamBuy for a new-to-me gym for body sculpting and that might inspire me. Does that mean that it is an art class or a workout class though? I was not completely sure.

I am doing better in other areas of the 40-day challenge. I find I am sleeping an average of 7 hours now which is great. Sometimes I even make it to 8 hours. I am eating more fruits which is a big thing for me, as I tend to consume my veggies but not enough fruits. I am drinking more water. I am eating fiber for breakfast which is one of the suggestions. I am trying to eat less in the last three hours of my day.

I am wavering on the empty calories though. Darn addiction to sugar! Of course, those girl guides had to show up at my door this evening. Be prepared! Just say no—how do you say no to kids dressed up in their cute little camp outfits? Besides my back pain was crying out for comfort. I have not quite devoured half a box since I bought them two hours ago.

Hey, I wonder what my phone number spells in words?

Peace,

Suzanne

Aim High!

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. ~ C. S. Lewis

This is a new quote to me but I loved it when I read it. I think I do this unconsciously. Love life, dream big, breathe deeply.

The big news of the day is that I booked an Alaskan cruise for this summer as my big 50th birthday present to myself. I have wanted to do it for about a decade or so after seeing someone’s photos. This should be a great trip. I am going with a friend of mine from Vancouver. Pretty cool!!

I have had a lovely day. We have a group of “elders” at church that has been dubbed “the Chicken Delight” ministry because they have coffee after mass there during the week. Well, the restaurant closed and so they have moved elsewhere. I joined them for a cup of tea at the new spot today and caught up a little. I think they are a great little group and hope that when I retire, I will have a coffee gaggle to hang with.

From there, I walked over to my massage therapist’s office and had an hour-long massage. I am always grateful to be healed in this way. I know my body appreciates the extra loving care too.

I have just finished watching Grey’s Anatomy since I did not buy headphones last night and could not hear the music on the plane ride home. I did not get it. What did the songs have to do with the story? Someone really has to do better next time. That said the speaking parts of the show were good.

Back home, I am missing the warmer temps and the mountains but I can sense that spring is coming and so I am content. I am looking up rather than earth-bound and grumpy!

How is your day going?

Peace,

Suzanne